Jani, or mid-summer's eve... the shortest night of the year

It's the shortest night of the year, and in Latvia, that means really short! It was only truly dark from about 2am until 3:30 or 4. We celebrated this year out at Marianna and Jeremy's, or Marianna's parents country house out in Saldus, Latvia. You'll notice a theme of fire throughout the night... we do this to symbolize the sun. This is the night to worship the sun, as she is with us the longest on this day. But, for me, it is a day of mourning, as it means that from here on out, the days get shorter. :( Either way, it was a great time... here's a few shots of the night...

Singing and dancing round the big oak tree. Latvians sing and dance incessentaly this night (if not all nights).

As tradition requires, the Janu Mate (Jani Mother) offers Janu cheese to all her guests.

And the Janu Tevs (Janu Father) offers beer.

The ladies spent hours weighing down this table. Believe it or not, in 24 hours, we'd pretty much consumed all of this food.

Dig in!

As the night wore on (it's about 10pm in this picture) the kids started getting a wee bit tired. Here is a victory shot... Mikus, Joel's youngest nephew, seems to finally have accepted me, as he was willing to be in my arms as he barely hung on to consciousness. And yes, you can quit making fun, I am OBVIOUSLY delighted at the fact of having the kid in my arms!

Joel and Jeremy, and others, built this Jani torch and lit it with the help of the other men folk.

The campfire. The boys also built this, and were delighted to light it with a big "whoosh" as fire caught to gasoline and dry wood.


Around midnight or 1, maybe, we continue singing and dancing round the campfire. The picture looks dark, but I swear it wasn't pitch black out yet.

Around 2 we headed down to the lake to light a mini-fire on a raft. Joel leads the way bearing a torch. I told you, it was dark by then. The raft-fire wouldn't light and wouldn't go the right way, so, even though I was shivering dressed, Joel got in the water to save the day/night and re-lit the raft and pushed it out into deeper water.

Morning breaks. Due to a headache, I had gone to bed, but Joel stayed up to greet the sun.

more...

there were a few more good pics... and here they are in no order at all...

The trip... Bremen and Venice...

Here I am in Bremen.... this was in the city center...an old church. That night we just walked around and marveled at all the shops and all the variety of stuff. We had Chinese/Thai take-away for dinner. It was great because they actually had tofu on the menu, and it was delicious. (If you can't guess, the Chinese places in Riga don't have tofu on the menu.) I was pretty sick on this first day of our trip, so we stopped in a pharmacy and got me some drugs. I think I passed out in bed that night around, um, 7 or 8. And yes, I slept through the night. Very normal for the day after the last day of school though as well. :)

Here is Joel by a cool fountain in Bremen.

And we just couldn't pass up this picture. It was a gallery of some sort...I think it must have been that the artists name was Schmuck...but, it was just a photo op not to miss. :)

And here I am in Venice. This was the first big bridge we came to. Had to take the pic!

And here is the first picture of Joel on a bridge! :)

And here we are together!!! Gotta love the self-shot. We did a few of these, cause asking people to take pics of us was just too annoying. Also, just so you know, we walked without a map. Our purpose was to stay off the beaten path, and just find our way. It worked marvelously. We walked down so many tiny little walkways, through lots of areas that were obviously just residential streets...and we still found our way to all the big sights as well.

Here is me in front of St. Marc's catherdral. No, we did not go in... the line was about a mile long. And some girl at our camping place told us that she had stood in line for 3 hours to get in. Yeah, glad we didn't waste so much of the little time we had doing that. I'm sure it's fabulous on the inside, it was beautiful on the outside too.

You can see in this next picture that many of the buildings themselves were very dilapidated. I can imagine that trying to remodel or do external renovations would be very hard...there is no place to put scaffolding! But, even if the buildings are old and worn they have character, added to by the fact that almost all windows had window boxes full of big bright flowers and plants! Here is a great example.

This reminded me of China, but was cuter... they hang all their laundry in the air between buildings. This little alley had an adundance of laundry. Some of it was in snatching distance! :)

Here is the most famous of Venice bridges which crosses the grand canal, the Rialto.

Ah, now here we are at our "resort". It was actually called a camping place, as you'll see later. It was a pretty big place and had many kinds of accomodations. There were tents with cots, little trailers with two twin beds, a little bedside table, and a closet and a bathroom. There were bigger trailers that had more beds and I think an eating area. And there were cabanas. I have to admit, I wasn't overly impressed with our little trailer at first, but, it turned out to be great. The beds were easy to push together (get your mind out of the gutter, it was just more comfy for sleeping!), and it had air conditioning for cooling off after being in the sun all day. And I guess the fact that there certainly wasn't any tv was a good thing because it means we didn't spend any more time in there than we needed to. Anyway... the place was about a 20 min private (but cheap!) shuttle bus ride from Venice. But it had a nice pool (pictured below), a restaurant, a bar, a take-away food joint and a market. It was very nice.

Here I am reading by the pool on our third day there. This day we decided to hang out by the pool in the morning/early afternoon, and head into Venice later. Yes, I am several shades of red/pink from this laying by the pool...but it was awesome. :) I read two books on our five day trip, mostly pool side. Awesome.

This was Joel's favorite place. There were two hot tubs by the pool. But, Joel was telling me that in Oz hot tubs are called spas. In this case, I'll call it a spa, because truth be told, the water wasn't hot at all. But after 30C heat all day, it was nice to get into cooler water with bubbles. But Joel spent so much time in there that he got a silly burn just on the top of his shoulders/arms and top of his chest. His tummy is still white. :)

Here we are on our second day in town, doing another self-shot, with the Rialto bridge in the background.

Back in St. Marc's square, a picture with me and all the pigeons. You could buy seeds and feed them. Did I? NO! They are like dirty flying rats. Ew. Surpsingly, for as many pigeons as there were, there was little pigeon poo. We wondered if they were trained to do it elsewhere. :)

We went up to the top of the bell tower in St. Marc's square to get a "from up on top" view of Venice. It was amazing. All the buildings are so close together. You can't tell where there are walk-ways and where there are canals. The buildings all just look like they are squeezed one next to the other.

Here is a shot that shows really well how they make use of the space. The buildings literally go to the edge of the islands.

Ok, someone saw us trying to do a self-shot, and offered to take the pic. Here we are with Venice in the background.

The last thing we did in Venice was go on a gondola ride. It was something we'd been pondering for days, whether to do it or not, because it was quite expensive. But, as we were heading to the shuttle bus after our last dinner, we decided, what the hell...gotta do it. So here we are in the gondola. The gondolier (a cute one at that! Thanks Joel!) took this pic.

And here is the pic the gondolier insisted on himself. Thanks gondolier! How cute are we??? So romantic!

Since we took this ride at night, not many good shots were possible...but here's one that turned out ok.

As we were saying goodbye, we decided to take a couple of shot of our "resort".

From there, we left Italy, and headed back to Bremen for a night. That afternoon we found a vegetarian store, and I was able to stock up on some veggie products that you can't get in Riga. Whoo hoo!!! :) We also had tex-mex for dinner, and guess what, it was actually somewhat spicy! Yes!!!

It was, by far the best birthday present ever. See the next post for a little more blabber on the subject. :)


Thanks Joel!!!

The trip... a bit more...

Well, just got back to Riga this afternoon from the best birthday present ever. It was a wonderful trip. The weather forecast for our time in Venice was for thunderstorms the whole time. Well, someone made a big mistake, because not only was it not thunderstorming, we saw about one cloud a day. It was near 30C everyday. It was beautiful and wonderful and gorgreous! :)

Also, just before going, we'd heard from some people that their reactions of Venice were that it was crowded and smelly and dirty. Well, neither Joel nor I mind people, so although, of course, there were some crowds, they didn't bother us one bit. There were a couple of times that in our meandering walks we smelled sewer smells, but it certainly was no worse than Riga, or any other old city. And as for dirty... nah. Again, it's a historic city, and a tourist destination, so to some extent there was garbage and stuff, but our general feeling was not that it was a dirty city. In my opinion it was certainly more cheery than Riga, but, again, in my opinion, that's not hard to do. Of course there was all kinds of longed for things like customer service with a smile, people saying please and thank you, treating you like a valued customer, even if you are just a tourist, people walking around you in the street, instead of straight into you...ah, just a few of the small things...

As for the food... I found myself in the very unlikely position of not being hungry pretty much the whole time I was there. That kind of sucked. But, knowing that I would probably not be back in Venice, or Italy any time soon, I just had to eat some of the gorgeous food. Let me tell you again, that I love modern developed nations...everywhere we went there were choices abounding for a person like myself who eats a vegetarian diet. I had sandwiches (pre-made, deli style, just sitting in the window waiting to be eaten), I had pasta (Spaghetti pomodoro-just fresh tomato sauce...but you know what, it was GOOD, cause it wasn't and didn't taste like ketchup! Gnocchetti in a tomato cream sauce... YUM! Papardelle pasta in a mushroom cream sauce... again... YUM!), I had pizza (just cheese again, but oh so good! Oh and in my opinion it was more important to eat pasta than pizza most of the time, so I had this pizza in the airport when we were awaiting our departing flight...and it was STILL better than anything you can get in Riga!). So the food was good. Of course the gelato was yummy too. I only had it once, but I enjoyed every last lick. :) And the wine... I don't know anything about Italian wine as I usually buy Australian or South African wine... so while in Venice I just ordered the house reds... and they were all delicious! I was surprised that they were served cold...but, it didn't take away from the experience. I loved sitting in the outdoor cafes, watching people and sipping on some drink. I am a big fan of ginger...and at one afternoon stop off, I saw a drink called a Gingerino. I ordered it, and loved it. Now, I just have to figure out what you might call it in English/Latvian/Spanish and what is in it. :) Ok...

I got a haircut

And there it is. Short again! :)

Best Boyfriend Ever...and here's why...

It's my birthday today, and I was just presented with my present...

It was a clear cover folder with paper inside....titled Mara's Birthday Quiz.


With questions like:

Joel started hanging out with Mara because...
a) He was looking for a girlfriend
b) He was bored and had nothing else to do
c) He was looking for a good cook
d) She invited herself everywhere he went

and

In Joel's opinion the best thing about Mara is...
a) Her opinions about eating habits
b) Her ability to tell a story
c) Her cat
d) The amount of belongings she has

I had little chance of winning one of the three prizes.

There were 10 questions all together...I got 3 right according to Joel. Apparently I don't know "us" very well. But, as you can see by those questions it was a tough call on each question... for that first one for example, the real answer is probably (b). However, he said it was (d)...which is SO untrue, because HE was the one that invited me everywhere he went for the first week we hung out...which is why I ended up meeting his family that week, seeing his flat that week, etc.
And for the second question there, I circled (c) because it was obvious these were all the things that annoy him the most about me, and I chose the one that annoys him most. He ended up telling me that there was no answer to circle there, which means I got it wrong for circling an answer.

But in the end... he let me trade up from envelope A, to envelope B, and finally to envelope C. Envelope A contained the prize of spending the weekend at school with our old board. There is a lot of history there, but basically, I would actually rather slit my wrists. Envelope B's prize was a weekend in Daugavpils (the MOST Russian city in Latvia = ew, why would you want to). It included taking a bus there, camping in a tent for 4 nights, and then hitchhiking back. Envelope C, the final prize, was a 5 night trip with 2 nights in Bremen, Germany, and 3 in Venice, Italy!

My jaw dropped when I saw the word Venice. We recently watched a BBC show called Perfect Holiday about Venice. And it seemed perfect. Of course, we're not going to have quite the accomodations that the couple on Perfect Holiday had (I think they actually stayed somewhere that was USD$5,000 a night because the show pays for it all of course), but we'll have access to the city, and it'll be great.

So... there you go... I have the best boyfriend ever. :) I'm floating on air! We leave on Saturday! :)

How silly...

So... I leave for Madrid in....22 days! Yipes!

But why am I worried? I moved to China by myself... I moved to Latvia by myself... why would I be so anxiety ridden about going to Spain by myself?

Well, for starters, it's not like I'm just going for a vacation or a job... I'm going to study. It's been 4 years since I had to read text books, do research, write papers. It's been 4 years since I had to try to appear highly intelligent. I mean, come on, my Kindergarteners think I'm amazing for being able to print (as in write by hand) so fast (yes, they actually say that to me- "How can you write so fast Ms. P? Wow!")! So, although I am doing well with getting most of the pre-assigned reading done, and planning to start those pre-assigned writing assignments any day now (probably when school gets out) I'm still nervous about the actual academics. And just the other day I sent in a completed pre-course survey that one of my profs sent by email. Today I got an email from him saying that I have the distinct honor of being the first person to get it back to him. I have his compliments and his thanks. :) I guess I'm off to a good start, at least with him.

Ok, so school is worrisome, and will probably be stressful even once I get there and get into it, but as usual with school, I'm sure that as long as I stay in action and working, I'll be ok.

So why else am I anxiety ridden? Well, here is the scenario that keeps running through my head.... I get to Madrid, somebody from Endicott picks me up from the airport and takes me to my apartment. I am happy to have been taken so far, and probably equally happy that night to settle in, unpack, get comfortable. But then, Saturday comes. I wake up, and I'm hungry. But paralyzed with the fear that if I leave the apartment I will either get lost, or not be able to find a grocery store, or get mugged, or not be able to communicate effectively enough to buy anything, or not be able to find my way home, or not be able to get in my new flat on homecoming I sit in the apartment all day starving. When my roommate arrives Sunday afternoon, I am so happy to see her that I abandon all vegetarianism and civility and eat her. See why I'm nervous? In my own mind, I'm already a cannibal!

I found out yesterday that on Saturday the 30th (my first full say in Madrid) is the Gay Pride parade in Madrid, and they are expecting 2 million people in the streets that day. Sounds like LOTS of fun, if only I had someone with me. I'd love to go out and celebrate my "straight but not narrow" identity. Alone, the sound of that absolutely terrifies me.

I don't speak Spanish. I've heard that Madrid in summer time is like Riga in summer time, no locals, except the ones that are there to serve the tourists. So, it's possible that the lack of Spanish won't be a huge problem. But I also don't want to offend anyone, or commit any cultural faux pas.

But, this is an opportunity for growth. Because, lets face it... there is room to grow. Let's look back at previous experiences.... when I came to Latvia in 1999 to visit my then boyfriend, I didn't leave the house during the day, because I wasn't going to go out alone. I spent WAY too much time watching really bad Latvian/European tv. And what a sad way to spend 3 weeks in Latvia in summer time! Then, in China...I was so overwhelmed by the WHOLE experience that I literally did not go out of my apartment without an escort for the first couple of weeks. That first day, I didn't even know how to find my way out of the compound! Lord how overwhelm can cloud the brain. So really, it can only get better. I did much better when I came to Latvia this time, but I think I had the language skills on my side, upping my confidence.

The thing is that I know once I get to Madrid, and especially once my roommate gets there, I will be fine. I'll figure out where things are, how to work the locks, what I can and can't buy, and enough of the simple phrases needed not to mortally offend any locals.

But, see, this knowledge doesn't stop me from being anxiety riddled now. How silly.

Reflections on growing up

I just read a book called Prep, written by Curtis Sittenfeld. It's the story of a middle-class, mid-west girl who goes to ritzy boarding school on the east coast. It was a good story. I really liked it. But it made me remember my own high school experience, and those years of life, as I was still growing to become the woman I am today.

At a time when I had thankfully passed those years, I remember watching a friend of mine KM, the little sister I never had, if you will, buy some make up for the first time. Being a young teenager, she had come upon some money one way or another, maybe babysitting, maybe it was from a birthday or Christmas. She decided that she wanted to purchase foundation with this money. Her mom ok'ed it, and so they headed to the Clinique counter. Then there she stood, looking at all the different kinds, for different skin types, ones to reduce wrinkles, or dry skin or some other "horrible" thing, and then the colors... how do you pick the right one? Her mom and I were standing there letting her try to decide, to pick, make the choice. And then the sales lady came up and offered help. This only increased the difficulty of making the choice. I recognized this situation. Or, that is, I felt that I probably remembered what she was feeling... because I know I had felt it before.

Even with something as trivial as make up, making a choice was a matter of asserting yourself. Even declaring that she was ready to choose make up... to enter into this dimention of grown-upness... was a stand. It was big. But then, she got there, and realized that she didn't know how to make the right choice. And standing there, saying she's ready to be grown up, yet realizing that this simple choice is one that she wants to know how to make, instead of having to learn it, makes her instantly feel too young to make it. And she questions whether or not at this pivotal point, it would make or break her to actually accept help.

Of course, this is all in my imagination, what she was going through... but I felt that I could see it all going on inside, and like I said, it was certainly only because I *know* that I had been there myself.

I also remember that as a young woman, that is as a teen, I longed to spend time with women whom I looked up to. My mom, MM, some of my mother's other friends, certainly my aunt RJ and gram AH, and without question my great-aunts AS and EL. I loved the conversations they would have. The insights they made available to me. I always looked forward to it. But undoubtably there was always a point where they would look at me, and offer me an out, to go do something else, because surely, I must be bored. I would realize that the reason they thought this was because I hadn't spoken. Maybe I had something to add to the conversation, and maybe I didn't, but I certainly didn't have the courage to speak up. I was learning, from these mountains of strength, how to be the kind of woman I wanted to be. I never minded that I didn't really have anything to add to the conversation. I just loved to listen. To laugh when it was appropriate, which amogst these women was often enough. In my pre-childbearing state, I still don't really get peeing your pants from these laughing fits, but maybe someday I will. :)

The same day that this friend bought the make up, we had gone out to lunch, she, her mom and I. It was during this lunch when I was sharing stories of living in China, of what my life and job were like there, that I noticed that dear KM was doing the same thing I used to do. She sat there quietly, eating, listening. When I asked her to share about her life, her answers were short, self-dismissive. I can only imagine that while she was probably desperate to share, to BE a part of the "more grown up" conversation, she didn't want to focus the attention on herself, to halt the converstion that was already going on.

When I look at my life now, I am well aware that I have much to be thankful for. I have already in my short (nearly) 27 years experienced a lot. I've lived in amazing places, met great people, explored cultures, and had so many ups and down with men, you'd wonder if I really was 27. But, it's all been a part of making me uniquely and wonderfully who I am today. No, it hasn't been easy. And when I think back on those years in high school... between fair weather friends, the stress of fitting in or not, the academic pressure, dealing with new emotions (and old ones) and wanting to have fun, and never being satisfied with "appropriate" fun... it was a tough ride. They aren't years that I would go back and relive for anything. But, I cannot say that I would erase them, or even forget them... because if I hadn't stumbled through learning how to buy and apply make up then, would I be doing it now? If I hadn't figuratively stumbled blindfolded through so many relationships in my younger years, would I be, eyes wide open, in the happy relationship I am in now?

Life had a lot of ups and downs, and I am in no way deluded enough to assume that mine are over. Reading this book just made me appreciate the experience of being a young woman. Of what it was like for me, and what it might be like for those around me. Certainly, reading Prep made me realize that some of the experiences and emotions I had were not unique, and THAT is a relief. :)

I'M IN!!!

This finally came in the mail today! I've been accepted! I actually found out earlier this week through an email, because the letter was taking so long to get here, but the letter is something I can hold in my hand and actually see that I'm in!

So.... what does this mean??? It means a hell of an intense year! This is what the program will look like...
I start this summer, in Madrid. I will be there for a month. I will live in an apartment that is privately leased, so I don't know exactly what that means. I only know that it was the cheapest option provided by the school. Also, it is guaranteed by the school that I will have my own bedroom, access to a fully stocked kitchen (meaning pots, pans, dishes and silverware) and full time access to a bathroom. Sounds ok.
The month of school entails 4 courses; yup, one a week! I'm definitely already feeling stressed about this, because it can ONLY mean that it will be very intense. Lots of information in a short time. I have already received sillibi for all my courses, and 3 out of 4 require pre-reading as well as pre-assignments, due on the first day of class. Yikes! Now that I know I am in, I better get on it!
So.... the full month of July I will be in Madrid. If you didn't figure it out yet, that leaves me with about 3 weeks of summer vacation not in Madrid, which means, no, I won't be doing any other traveling this summer. I really wish I could come to the States, but it just isn't in the cards!
Then, after the summer... I will take 2 online courses during the fall semester (something like Sept-Dec) and 2 online courses in the spring (Jan-May). Thankfully, this will be my 5th year teaching kindergarten, and third year in the same school. Hopefully, this means I will have an easier time teaching, and be able to make enough time to study.
Next summer, I will again do another month in Madrid. It will be the same set-up, four courses in four weeks. (That's right, no traveling next summer either.) I assume it will be the month of July again. The only difference? At the end of July 2008 if all goes as planned, I will participate in a graduation ceremony in Madrid! (Anyone fancy a trip???)
So... what other details can I throw at you. This course is offered through Endicott College, which is located in Massachusetts, USA. It is a program that is accepted by my university in Michigan, and will count towards me getting my professional teaching certificate. (When you graduate with a teaching degree in Michigan, you get a provisional certificate, and must within a certain amount of time teach for 3 years and get at least 18 credits of continuing education to get a professional certificate- which is the whole reason I'm doing all this!)

I am excited at having been accepted, and at the same time overwhelmed at what stands in front of me. It's been so long since I have to write a real paper! Ugh! I like to write....but come on, I like to write on my blog, writing papers is a WHOLE different story! The anxiety I feel about this (yes, I've already had my first anxiety nightmare!) is lessend by the fact that I know it will all be over in 13 months. Whew.

I hope this answers any questions you may have about what I will be doing with myself in the next year, and already excuses me for what will probably be a total lack of communication! :)

Now... off to ordering hundreds of dollars of books that will have to be shipped overseas, and see about a plane ticket...

Dairy-free reflections

Well, the dairy-free week lasted from Monday to Friday (as I had planned, I realize it's not a full week!). On Saturday I actually spent most of the day dairy free as well, until around 9 when I had some chocolate ice cream with cherry compote (yum!).

Reflecting on the week though, led me to realize that I really did feel better this week than usually. Stomach issues were practically non-existant (those of you who know me *well* know this is special!). I felt not only lighter as I had posted in the first post, but by the end of the week, felt slimmer too. My mucusy cough and stuffy nose were almost a thing of the past.

I also found out that actually, I like soy milk in my tea... especially chai tea with honey! Also, I found that one yogurt-type oat product that I liked, and was sad to not find in Stockmann today. I even bought some muesli today, because I realized that I can start eating cereal again since I can get and enjoy soy milk. :) And, it was not difficult at all to eat most of my meals dairy free.

This morning I had egg and cheese on toast for breakfast. What happened after that? Yeah, the coughing started up again, and my tummy puffed up.

The benefits seem to outweigh the drawbacks. But, like I said last time, I don't plan on cutting out dairy entirely. Some cheese on my pasta, sour cream on my mexican and possibly the occasional yogurt will still be part of my life. But in the end, I have to say, I'm really glad that I finally chose to do this experiment with myself, because I found out some pretty good info on just how better to take care of myself.

And yes, I do feel better that fewer cows will have to endure the torturous life that is the life of a milked cow to please my human desires.

Now... what's next? How about actually drinking 2 litres of water a day and seeing how that might change my life?? Just a thought.... :)

You just gotta learn to relax

If this ain't the best example, then I don't know what is. Bumbi has just spent the previous few minutes running around like an absolute maniac... bouncing from couch to chair to scratching post to couch to bed to window sill and almost up the side of the bookshelf... and then he came back into the living room and just plopped. And this it appears, is the most comfortable position.
He was actually sleeping like this, but woke when he heard the camera beep, and decided he needed to smile for the camera.

But this makes me think about the way I live my life.... it is necessary sometimes to run around getting things done, feeling kind of crazy, like you're going to bust out of your skin. But when it's over, you gotta learn to relax, and even if it's only for a moment, before you hear the beep of a camera, or the next task comes a calling... lay back, close your eyes, splay your legs if necessary (get out of the GUTTER!), and chill the fuck out.

Lessons from a cat... and really cute pictures too. :)

Dairy-free for a week

This is what I'm doing this week. It was something I had been contemplating, because I couldn't help but notice that every morning after I would have my tea with milk in it, I'd be coughing and hacking up nasty globs of green stuff way worse than what I had been before. Getting rid of this last cold (yes, I was STILL dealing with it!) was my main goal. My yoga teacher asked me one day after class what has been up with me, because she couldn't help but noticed that I'd missed a few classes and that when I was there, I was coughing and having a hard time breathing, etc. She implored that I must give up the dairy until I get rid of it. So, I knew it was time to do it. But it's one of those things that makes you go... oh, man... am I going to be able to do this????

Well, I started Monday morning. I had to switch out my daily yogurt snack for an apple...but I could handle that. After that, I found it easier than I thought I would! Dinner Monday was samosas from the Indian restaurant next door. Tuesday's dinner was a highly successful stir-fry made with chinese cabbage, snow peas, tofu, dark and light soy sauce, sesame and peanut oil and a dash of sugar. It was delish! Tonight will be left over stir-fry or french fries and meat-less meatballs (which I found in Stockmann yesterday.... they come in a can, so lets hope they're good!).

By Tuesday night I noticed (and so did my yoga teacher) that I was coughing much less, and was breathing easier. Not even a full two days! I also noticed that I was feeling lighter, not so much in weight, but like, less dense. Does that make sense?

So I'm wondering... if this experiment turns out positive results as to how much better I feel without dairy, will I continue? I have to say, the feeling good aspect makes it seem like a great idea! On the other hand, I live in the country of meat, potatoes and dairy products. Latvians eat sour cream like it's going out of style. And cheese is a major part of most vegetarian dishes in local restaurants. I already use soy milk on my cereal, so that's easy. And we also use an olive oil spread instead of butter. But when JS and I make tacos or nachos... no sour cream!??!? And there aren't any dairy free choices available here (unlike in the States, where soy sour cream would be the simple and tasty solution.)

So I'm thinking... there is no reason to create a hard rule. If I know I feel better when I avoid dairy, I can make it a guideline for most days. Stockmann also carries a product that is like a yogurt, but made from oats... it's dairy free, and while I had a berry flavored one that I didn't like, I just had the peach passion one today, and it was GREAT! Pasta without cheese seems almost criminal to me. So that might be a time when I have to step this way of the guideline. Actually, nachos or tacos without sour cream also hit me the same way, like, what's the point? But I have to say, those are the only two things that I can think of where losing dairy seems like the worst idea ever.

I will also soon receive a container of nutritional yeast that I have on order in the States (which has to be sent to my mom, and then to me). I have read several ideas about how nutritional yeast can be used as a cheese sub (flavor wise) on pasta, in sauces and other foods.

So who knows, maybe this will be an easier change to make than I thought. And maybe it will be another change to my diet that will continue to resonate with my body long after it's made.

You know what they say about milk anyway... it's for baby cows! ;)

P.S. Later that night... I had the meatless meatballs for dinner... and while they were salty, they were otherwise very good! :)

The differences

I am once again in awe of the differences in life depending on where you live. I've lived in several places in the world... spanned a few continents... there is a lot left for me to see, and I'm sure, many more differences that could blow my mind even more... but alas... I must comment on what I've experienced so far.

I'm struck with my (I think) third spell of sickness this year... Just in time for the Super Bowl I came down with a cold, then in February I had a pretty bad cold, possibly sinus infection, that left me useless on the couch for a whole week. Well, spring break started on Friday afternoon, and keeping in the tradition, my body shut down Saturday morning. You teachers know what I'm talking about. If there is ANY time you get sick during the school year, it's just about always as soon as vacation hits!

Well, anyway... it's been spring like in Riga these last couple of weeks, and everyone has been enjoying it. Wearing fewer clothes, being outside in the sunshine just for the heck of it, opening windows to get some fresh air cirulating in the home. Now, I'm pretty sure this is standard procedure for welcoming spring in just about any location where there is a definite shift of seasons. If I still lived in the States, and was hit with this cold, people would just call it a spring cold, or possibly attribute it to some kind of allergy.

Not in Latvia. The first local Latvian who I ran into once I had this cold, of course, blamed it on the evilest of all local evils... the draft. It was my therapist, who I chose not to argue with about it, but her words were, "Oh yeah, well, with this spring-like weather, people have been opening windows and not thinking about it... but letting in drafts none the less, and now people are getting sick!" You see... that is the idea here... that simply being in the way of a draft will make you sick. Forget germs, forget stressed out, over-worked bodies with low to nil immunity... it's the draft.

The draft can attack any part of your body. My hair dresser told me just today, that any time he gets in the way of a draft, his back goes out immediately. Huh?

Some time ago, when I went to the doctor and then gynocologist fully aware I had a bladder infection/UTI... their answer? I'd "frozen" my bladder. Thank God they still prescribe antibiotics for that, and not a schedule of wrapping your midsection in blankets or anything.

Don't even think about walking around in bare feet, well, basically any time of year... if you do that, you can not only get bladder infections, but you're just asking for a cold. Maybe that is how I got this cold... because at home, even in this not so warm end of winter weather, I hate to have my feet confined in socks. Dead of winter, I wear slippers... but, these days, I'm barefoot pretty much all the time.

Well, so... that is the draft.

Next... customer service. OK... I grew up in the states, and I know what midwestern customer service can be like. Sometimes they are overbearing, and you just want to scream at them to leave you alone... "I'm just looking," is a standard answer, and one you hope will send the person far enough away that you can shop in peace, but keep them close enough that if you DO actually need anything they are there to help. That might be in a clothing store. In a grocery store, you might expect someone to be somewhere near by in case you can't find what you are looking for, and at the check out, a friendly smile and a "how are you today". In any other type of retail you might expect along the same lines as a clothing store... someone there to help if you need it.

I know in my local Barnes & Noble I can always go to the help desk and say just the title of a book, or even just a few words of it, and they will do their best to find it in their system, and then show me where it is on the shelf. If they don't have a book right then, they might offer to order it for me, or let me know that there is a copy at the store on the other side of town that they can put on hold for me. Basically, it goes without saying that not only are they there to serve me, but they will do whatever possible to make sure I spend the money. You'd think that would be the aim of most stores. To keep you satisfied and coming back!

Well... let me tell you the story of my shopping experience at the local Janis Roze Gramatnica (a chain book store here in Riga) the other day. I was at the store located in the train station, which is small, but had a small rack of foreign language books. (Yes, I can read in Latvian, but when I read for pleasure, it's much more enjoyable to just read in English, which is much easier and faster for me.) I found a Nicholas Sparks I had not yet read, and then a Jodi Picoult as well. I was very excited to find another Paulo Coelho that I had not yet read. I love his books, and have been slowly making my way through all of them. I was ever so happy about the 3.50Ls price tag on it (as well as on the Nicholas Sparks) because that is literally half what I usually pay at the other book store where I shop.

So, I take my three books to the checkout. The lady rings up the Sparks and the Picoult, but says the Coelho is not ringing in. She calls her manager. While we wait, she suggests that I just pay for the other two books because the other one might not even ring up. The manager comes, says not a word to me, takes the book, and disappears into the back. She comes back, still not saying anything to me, and starts trying different ways of punching the book into the system. Nothing works. I ask if they couldn't just ring up the price and write down what book they've sold. No. I ask if they can ring up a different book that is the same price. No. The answer was, "We can't sell it to you today. Come back another day."

WHAT??? I want to spend my money at your store, for a product you are holding IN YOUR HAND, and you're telling me I can't buy it?!? I just don't get it. I just don't. Can anyone explain this to me???

So you see...it's these little things.

Latvia has plenty of charms that keep you happy to be here... the beautiful old buildings that keep you entertained on any old walk through town, the flower stalls set up not just in some places, but on street corners everywhere... because, you always need flowers! And even if you don't, I have to say, I love walking past them anyway. You can't beat that by taking a train that will cost you a whopping .45Ls (that's 45 santimi, like <$1.00) you can get all the way to the seaside where even if the wind blows like there's a storm coming, and the water, even in the dog days of summer, never rises much above freezing (people want to argue this with me, but I say to them, you've never been anywhere tropical, and felt what real WARM water feels like, the Baltic Sea is freezing all the time!)... it's still beautiful.

But the differences, sometimes, can come close to driving you mad. Latvia stands as a very intersting cross between being a "western" country, but still being only less than 20 years out of opression, which has left a lasting impression. I've heard from those who have lived here always, and from those expats who moved here in the early 90's about how huge the differences are from then to now... how much better everything is. I believe it. I do. I have even seen in the two years I have been here how things have changed. But still, I have to say... living in the moment, the now, these little things, like not being able to buy the book I want to buy, can frustrate me to no end.

I've sort of weaved in and out of what I originally wanted to say here... but, the differences still make you wonder. Like, how can this evil draft exist here, as such a powerful force, when it was certainly something I never knew about much less worried about for the 25 years I lived elsewhere? How can certified medical doctors believe in a draft over germs, bacteria, etc?

I'm sure that somewhere in the myriad of emails I sent while I lived in China, I documented similar differences. China exists now for me in happy memories, and I choose to keep it that way, because why dwell on what was bad there? And possibly in this way I have also forgotten the things that drove me mad there. I also have wonderful memories of the short time I lived in France... and only remember how great it was there. How I had to be dragged back onto the plane to head home... I didn't want to leave. Possibly someday, if and when I leave here, I will look back with similar nostalgia, and not remember all these things that made my life not so easy while I was here.

I'm up for another adventure someday. I do want to try another new place, experience the culture and all these small differences that can make you mad, but also set the stage for wonderful memories. Living in different locations has thus far been an incredible way for me to discover things about myself, and about the world. I do hope that JS will be up for creating another experience like this with me, someday. For now, it's back to the local flavor here in Latvia...trying to only enjoy the differences that make Latvia what it is today.

P.S. I went to yoga tonight... a few hours after posting this... while I was walking from the yoga room to the locker room to change, I was feeling the stare of all the people who were sitting in a waiting area, watching my sock feet walking on that cold, tile floor. Of course, I had to think about what I would say if someone said something to me (it's happened before). Well, my old excuse is that I'm from America, so the draft/cold doesn't affect me like it does native Latvians. But then, I actually thought about that a little further... you know how the bumble bee isn't technically, according to the laws of physics be able to fly? But it does. And some say, it's because the bumble bee doesn't KNOW that it isn't supposed to fly, so it just goes ahead and does it! Maybe, just maybe, the draft is the same kind of thing... those of us raised in other places around the world don't know about how evil drafts are supposed to be, and so they don't affect us. But here, in Latvia, they are raised from birth not only being protected from drafts, but being told all about how dangerous they are. So they buy into the power that a draft might have. So... are local Latvians like bumble bees who finally find out they not supposed to be able to fly? And so, they give themselves up to the power of the draft, and have to run their lives by it. Hmmm... maybe.

Am I not ok???

Warning: The following post may eventually contain much profanity and possibly complete and utter emotional diarrhea. If you're not into that, then you should stop here.

So... I was at the movies tonight. JS and I went to see Music and Lyrics with Drew Barrymore and Hugh Grant. It was a fairly brainless movie, but a few hours of numbing happy entertainment none the less. I wouldn't say it's my best spent 7.5Ls, but it's not the worst either.

But, the disturbing thing that happened while I was sitting there simply losing myself in a modern day fairy tale... I stopped following the movie, and started watching only Ms. Barrymore. Thoughts in my head flowed something like this... "Gosh she's cute. I love her in the movies. She seems like such a nice person, she always plays characters that you can like. And she's beautiful. She is beautiful, isn't she? Why don't I look like that? Could I? She didn't always used to be that skinny. What did she do?"

And then enters some evil voice that also resides somewhere inside me, and seems to speak all too often... "Well, you could look like her if you stopped eating Nerds (which I happened to be so excited to find in Stockmann today, because I've never seen them in Latvia before, and I was happy to pay like $2.50 for the pack you'd get for a dollar in the States...especially because, not only do I love them, but they hold happy memories of times spent in Boogies with dear friend Kat) by the handful. Maybe if you exercised more. If you went back on a diet. You could be beautiful, or at least skinny."

By the time I got home, I was distraught. I am a person who tries on a daily basis to take good care of myself. I have made choices that not only resonate with me on a spiritual level, but also seem healthy. I practice yoga. I have even started doing pilates, which I am also enjoying. I try to eat food that comes close to its natural form. No, I am not perfect, and yes I DO enjoy handfuls of Nerds sometimes. But, like any other person on this planet, shouldn't I be allowed that pleasure... to eat some fucking candy that brings delight to my taste buds and makes me remember some good memories while sitting back and relaxing in the movies??? Shouldn't I??? Why should I be tormented with these thoughts, that in the end come back to one fucking thing... what is wrong with me? Why can't I just be ok... the way I am???

And then... where does that thought even come from??? Why is it, that every time I hear a man comment on a woman's physique, I take it so personally??? Whether it's a "she's hot", or a "nice boobs", or whatever... it seems like a personal attack on me... why? Because I'm not like that. I don't look like that. I don't have boobs like that. And if THAT is what hot is, then what does that make me?

And then there come all these voices from the past.... "When are you going to start doing some sit-ups?" (accompanied by a pinch of my perfectly appropriate teenager belly). "You'd be hotter if you had abs that looked like that." "Well, you do have a nice ass, but if your boobs were bigger, you'd be the whole package." "Why don't you do something with your hair?" "Why do you dress so plainly, you look like a teenager the way you dress." "Put some make up on." "Why are you wearing make up? Why do you need to wear so much make up? Aren't you comfortable just as you?"

WHEN DID IT BECOME OK FOR US TO GO AROUND JUDGING EACH OTHERS BODIES AND APPEARANCES LIKE THIS??? Why is that ok???

I am so sad that whoever it was, whether the media, my parents, my boyfriends, my friends... that whoever it was, was able to implant these messages into my brain... and make me constantly question, "am I not ok?" and to feel like the answer must just be, "sorry, but, no."

Ok... there wasn't as much profanity as I thought there would be in this post... because my anger turned to saddness very quickly. I live in a country where purging is at times endorsed by dieticians. Where I can only occassionally find clothes that fit. Where, basically, unless you are wearing three lbs of make up, stilleto boots, a mini skirt, and have your boobs popping out near you chin, you won't make a man turn his head. Do I want that kind of attention... from the same scum bags who find that attractive? No, but would it be nice to walk through town every once in a while, and feel like possibly at the young age of 26 I'm not past my prime just yet? Yes, that would be nice.

Why didn't someone somewhere along the way make something else important? Why couldn't I focus on the fact that I'm smart, I'm well-traveled, I can make people laugh, I am a good listener to my friends, I have an open heart not only with the people that I choose to make up my community, but also my students.... there are so many things that are positive about me... that might even inspire some awe if someone where to see a picture made up only of these words. But alas, even when I try to highlight all these things for myself, I am still left with the sad "reality" that I just don't cut it physically.

Some people don't seem to have this problem. There are so many people out there who love themselves and think that they are great in every way. Or, at least, even if they don't love everything, they accept it, can live with it, don't feel the need to try and change it, and are ok.

I'm exhausted by this fight. It can reduce me to tears in a matter of moments too often. I am sick of having to tell myself all the things that I have to tell myself to try to get through a day without just plain feeling like shit.

I just want to be ok. Is that too much to ask?

more pics!!!

I couldn't help it. He's not watching tv... but he's cute anyway... so here you can see some pics of my two favorite boys hanging out. :) One still has his balls. HA!

Well, well, well...

Look who doesn't seem to mind the cat so much anymore?!?!? (insert big cheesy victorious grin)

Look closely at the picture... not only is he sharing the couch, as he does his bed, with the cat... but his hand is on the cat's head. Because yes, dear friends, JS is petting the cat!!!! Oh how far we have come. :) And its a bad picture because I had to take it very quickly because otherwise he would have hid his new found affection. :)

On another note about the cat... it seems that now that Bumbulis no longer can chase after Mima in his free time, he has learned to watch tv! I have a short video file of it, which really is funny, but I don't know if I can upload it anywhere. He sits right in front of it next to his scratching post and watches, or sometimes on the desk chair, or sometimes he watches sitting on the back of the couch... but he watches. Seems he has finally learned to make do when there is nothing else to do. :) My cat watches tv.

OK... one more thing. :)

Some of you may know that in February my younger brother came to visit me in Latvia! He actually came because he needed to have some dental work done. It was cheaper for him to buy a plane ticket to Latvia, and pay to have the work done here, rather than just pay for it all in the States. How about that? So he was here for about two weeks.
We had a great time, although, we didn't do much. The weather was very cold while he was here. You all know I hate the cold weather, and him being a "desert rat" (his own words), he didn't exactly enjoy the -20C temps either. So, we didn't spend too much time outside, and only left Riga once. But, it had been almost two years since we'd seen each other, so we enjoyed a lot of time just talking, catching up on life, and sharing all kinds of things about the people we have become.
Here is a great picture of us, on the day we did leave Riga. We took the train down to Jurmala, the city by the sea (literally, the name translated is seaside). It is actually the Gulf of Riga, not the open Baltic Sea that we visited. It was lovely though. The first 10 meters or so of water was frozen, and then it was just wide open calm water after that. The sun was shining, reflecting off the ice, making for a lovely, though squinty, walk along the beach.
So here we are... me and my younger brother Martins.

Just a couple more things...

So I changed my blog look. :) I hope it's easier for you to read now. I really liked the black background I had before, but I like how there is more room for the text now... so, I changed it. And, this is how I feel today... so... this is me... today. :)

Also... apparently I am addicted to caffeine. :( I drink tea every morning... but when I lived at my old place, I mostly drank herbal, noncaffeinated ones. Once I started spending nights/mornings at JS's though, I drank what he had, which was black tea. I really liked it... so even once I moved in, I kept drinking it... with some sugar and milk, it's just lovely. :) But, apparently the caffeine in it has been enough to get me hooked over these last few months. I didn't have my tea this morning, because when I got up, I just got moving right away... but then I noticed that I was just feeling nauseous and foggy... so finally, around 4:30 when I got the chance... I had some tea. And now I feel better. I just hate the idea of being addicted though. :( Yuck.

On a happy note... the weather has been beautiful in Riga the last few days. Today when JS and I went out, we didn't even have to wear coats, and the sun was shining... it was great. I am so excited that spring is really on it's way... however, I'm keeping it in my thoughts that this is Latvia... and we still could get hit with some snow. But let's hope not! :)

WATCH YOUR POCKETS!!!!

Riga, Latvia... watch your pockets!

In November, when my godmother was here, we met for lunch. At the end of our meal, she wanted to treat me, and all of a sudden, realized that her wallet was not in her bag! She raced home hoping that she had simply left it there, but no such luck... she'd been pickpocketed during her *5* minute walk to where we were meeting.
In December when JS's friends were visiting from Angola, on our first day walking around town we were walking down Brivibas bulvaris and all of a sudden I felt like there was someone just walking TOO close to me behind me. I turned just in time to see a few girls following me, and feel the one's hand in my purse... thankfully, not far enough in to get anything. Whew. But hey, good impression to leave on the visitors!
Two days later... JS himself gets his wallet stolen out of his bag. He doesn't notice in time, but they used the same tactics... walking up real close behind them... quietly slipping the hand inside, and as soon as they grasped the wallet, turning and heading directly in the opposite direction. We cancelled all the cards right away, and thankfully, he didn't have ANY money in there!
Today, as I was walking back home after hitting a few shops, I saw coming towards me two women, obviously tourists (always detectable, because they are not speaking Latvian or Russian!) with backpack type purses on. Right behind them, too close for comfort, a pack of gypsy lady pick-pockets. Not knowing what else I could do, I just yelled out, "Ladies, watch your bags!" and kept walking. I can only hope that they heard me and registered that my message was one for them to pick up on.
I just cannot tell you how infuriating these pick pockets are. They are everywhere, and they target anyone not speaking Latvian/Russian. Unfortunately, this leaves JS and I as targets as well, since we speak English between ourselves. Also, unfortunately, these people make a lot of money doing what they do, and so we can only try to protect ourselves.
So, for those of you out there that don't think it will happen to you... it can and will, if you don't take precautions!
Obviously, if you are traveling in a country where you don't speak the language, you can not help having to speak English, but if this is the case, then let me give you some clues!

-Don't carry a backpack purse! You're asking for trouble. Take only what you need when you leave the house, so that you can fit it all in a smaller purse that you can carry some other way.
-If you're carrying a purse that hangs on one shoulder, across your body, carry it in front of you, not behind you. This is how I almost got done, and I'm sure how JS got done.
-Best bets, carry a bag with a zipper... and keep it zipped!
-Gentlemen, don't carry your wallet in your pocket! Put it in your coat, in an inside pocket!
-Lastly I can only say that no matter where you are, no matter what time of day, just BE AWARE. They are everywhere, and they will get you!

I hate to be so untrusting, but sadly, this is how it is here. And it sucks that I and all my friends here have started to stereotype the gypsies to be the ones that are doing this, and therefore feel less safe around people that look a certain way... but I tell you what... it happens, or you see it happen one too many times, and it's hard to forget who they are and what they look like! And they look shady. If you happen to look them in the eye, you see only cold, heartless beings. They don't care that you have worked a 40, 50 or 60 hour week, at a job that you fought to get, after gaining a degree that kicked your ass... they don't care. They want what they see as "theirs" and they will take it. So, just watch yourself, and WATCH YOUR POCKETS!!!

Moving

Well, the time has come again, ladies and gentelmen for me to move house... this will be the 4th time in two years (moving to Latvia, from Brivibas iela to GG's, from GG's to Blaumana iela, and now from Blaumana iela to Alksnaja iela)....and who knows what nth time in my life.
Funny thing is, for as many times as I've moved, I still really suck at it. Every time I moved when I lived in Kalamazoo, I just threw all my stuff in bags, clothes baskets, etc and into my car! Then I drove as many trips as I needed to get it all from one place to the other. When I moved to China of course, it was a very different deal. I packed clothes, lots of clothes and toiletries... and a few household items that were so special to me, that I just wanted them with me. Of course, over the next two years in China I accumulated a whole lot of stuff, a lot of which I ended up selling in my "getting the hell out of China" sale, or just giving away to my ayi (oh, how I miss my ayi). When I moved to Latvia, I actually had to pack boxes, and ship stuff. But then I got to Latvia... and every move here has been the same... throwing stuff into bags, baskets and suitcases and packing up some dear helpful friend's car.
This is what I will be doing again on Sunday. Actually, I have just spent the greater part of the afternoon throwing stuff into random boxes (most don't close on top), bags, suitcases, etc... and on Sunday we will start the big move. It scares me to look at how much stuff there is, considering how much/little space there is where I am going.
I have been looking forward to having all of my stuff in one place for months now, desperately so in the last month. But it will be interesting to see how it all fits, and what this will mean in JS's and my new life together. Although we have been "playing house" already for these last few months, there still was the opportunity to be separate if the need ever arose. Of course, it happened a lot less for me than for JS... but we leave that to different personalities and the differences between men and women. As more of my stuff accumulates at Alksnaja iela, but none of my shelves or anything are there yet, a lot of my stuff has just being left around in little piles. Sometimes, it does get overwhelming, and I wish I did have a place to put it all. But, at times, my pile of odds and ends is right next to JS's pile of odds and ends. JS's favorite comment lately has been, "What is this stuff, put it away!" And when I ask, where am I supposed to put it, and why do I have to move my stuff, but he doesn't have to move his, he says, "it's my apartment, and it's MY stuff!" Obviously, this little argument will no longer hold water in a week. (My official move in date is March 1, even though we're starting the moving now.)
Ah, so anyway... it will be interesting to see how it goes... how life changes, how our daily life changes... even though we for all purposes have actually been living together for a while, it will probably still be different now.
And, as many of you know, this will be the very first time that I live with a man in my adult life. It is a big deal. :) I am very excited about it. Now I just wish the moving fairy (Ms. NS, she's friends with the dish fairy, I think.) would come and finish my packing, and fly it all over, and up the four flights of stairs at Alksnaja iela. :)

Why I became a vegetarian

Most of you will probably already know why.

So here it is...

Back when I was at university, I used to babysit a lot for a family that was vegetarian. They certainly never pressed their views on me... but we used to talk about it a lot. They were even so good about it, that when I babysat for them at seminars and such out of town (where they would put me up in the hotel with them, feed me, etc) they would be fine with me ordering meat, and paying for it. They were totally cool. We did have a lot of conversations about the violence involved in meat production though. I did realize that this went against everything that I believed in deep down gut style. I have always had troubles even watching very violent movies, so how could I continue my life knowing that a choice I was making was putting animal after animal through extreme cruelty and suffering? After a few months, there came a day when I realized I hadn't had any meat for about three weeks, and I decided to see if I could keep going. Sometime soon after I realized that not only had my horrible bowel issues seemed to lessen, but I didn't miss meat. And then the choice was made. I was going veg, and not turning back. It the only decision I've ever made that I didn't question or second guess. It felt completely right on a body and soul level.
The longer I continued on my path, the more I read about being a vegetarian, the more my choice resounded with me. I have learned that I have a less negative impact on animal lives, on my own body, on the environment at large. No, I have not gone vegan, but it is a choice I think about. I can see it being something I do someday.
Something I face in the future is how I will raise my children. My initial thought is to do it vegetarian. But there are things that make this choice more complex. For instance, the man that I hope will father my children is a meat eater. They will be his children as well, and he will of course have a say. This leads me to possibly allowing only hunted or organic meat on rare occasions. With no solid scientific evidence that children need meat to be healthy, I don't consider this aspect at all influential in my choice. In fact, for as much as I know... children who don't consume dairy products tend to be healthier, with fewer ear infections and colds in infancy and childhood. Also, on this same point, since there is no scientific evidence one way or the other... I don't see raising a child vegetarian as any different than raising them within a certain religion or other value. As parents, we make choices for our children until they are old enough to do so for themselves. We generally make these choices based on our own beliefs... and if we are good parents, we respect the choices that our children make once they do reach the age of personal decision making. Some would argue that if they have not developed a "taste" for meat during their formative years, that they will never want it. I argue this with the simple example of all the foods that I now eat that I never even heard of as a child. Tofu, many green vegetables, and loads of ethnic flavors fall into this category. If the taste is one you're meant to like, you'll like it whether you eat it from birth or not. So, we'll see.
What concerns me most about the choice to be vegetarian is the way we can make a difference in the environment. The way that animals are raised, kept and slaughtered right now has a major affect on the environment. Living in a time when environmental issues are becoming bigger and bigger, living a "greener" life seems only to make sense. There is also the matter of all the shit that is pumped into animals while they are being "grown". That shit ain't meant to be going into our bodies! Even if meat doesn't in and of itself have a negative affect on one's body, meat pumped up with all that crap surely does. Another reason why I would rather not offer it down my children's throats. This of course, does leave the option of organic or hunted meat as an option...which is why I am not completely shut down to it.
I know this is a majorly hot topic... JS himself says that for every article or book or body of research that I can find supporting my views, he can find just as many supporting his own. Who knows... maybe he can. But are they funded by the cattle industry, the dairy farmers...all the people who are making money off of these products? Either way... when there is so much information out there, when taking into account having a positive or negative affect on the world at large, I would rather err on the side of positive, and not make meat-eating a part of my life.
So...there it is... why I became a vegetarian. And to this day, some 6 years later, I have never regretted it.

So...

I've been MIA for how long? Well... I'm pretty sure Ms. Non-Sequitor is the only one who ever checks in here anyway... :)

The holidays were great... check out assorted pictures at the Aussies flickr site. There are some from his trip to Thailand for his younger bro's wedding as well. (Oh and yes, if you're wondering... he is one of 4 brothers, and he is now the only one left unmarried. Just sayin'.)

Now, it's January...oops, no, that's over... it's February. Winter has arrived in Latvia with no welcome from me. It's been snowy and last night as I walked home from the Aussie's, I heard it was -18C. Yeah. This morning I said fuck it, and actually put on long underwear under my pants. Can I just say that I am SO against long underwear? I don't ever want to live anywhere else where that many layers are necessary! If someday I suddenly desire snow, I'll go on a trip. Really. Is it spring yet?

Well, the nice thing is that even if the weather has gone to shit, at least the sun is doing it's bit in becoming a part of life around these parts again. It's officially getting light before 8am again. I'm no longer walking the whole way to school in complete darkness. That is very cool. And even better than that, it's staying light out until nearly 5:30! Whooohooo!!! Well anyway... that's the weather report.

Very cool thing? My little brother is here! When I say little I, of course mean, like two feet taller than me, but none the less younger. :) He flew in just this past Tuesday, and will stay until the 20th. So far, it's awesome to see him, and catch up. We haven't seen each other since the summer of 2005!

In other big news... I have a change of address coming in about two weeks. Yes, I am happily turning the page on my days at "God's price" apartment, and moving in with, yes, that's right, the Aussie. Yes, it will be a tight squeeze. Yes, I pray for the safety of my cat. Yes, we will have to move again soon because the Aussie's landlord is selling soon, and we'll be outta there. But, it will mean no more hlaf my stuff here, half there. No more missing my cat, and feeling like a horrible pet owner because I haven't even seen him in a week. No more not having something I want or need. No more running out of clean clothes and having to wear dirty ones. And, yes, it will somewhat officially now be "we" instead of me. And certainly "ours". :)

OK.... I have some other thought swirling in my head about things I could blab on about here... family, being a vegetarian, and why, and others...but for now... I'm going to leave it at this, and hopefully come back soon to touch on those others. I know I'm letting down my public (even if there are only two of you - AW I think you might be a loyal checker-in too). So I'll try to come back... oh, and maybe I'll even touch on the evils of "reality" tv. :)

That's it for now.