A cat without balls, toasters and B12's...

I love my cat... we all know I do... but here is the thing... he's crazy.

He got his balls cut out (you know, so he wouldn't be able to make any more cat babies that no one would want to take care of...) and now he's bonkers. A friend says this is just plain proof that now we really know what the males of a species think with. Maybe.

He chews on metal things like the rails on our porch. This he does only at the times when he isn't actually trying to jump off the fourth story balcony. I guess he's never actually tried to jump... but, he sure does scare the shit out of anybody who is home on a daily basis with his balcony antics.

The craziest thing he does now though... well... actually, to be fair to the little guy, we don't know WHICH of the cats is doing it... it could very well be DS's cat as well... but anyway... ONE of them is pooping on my bathroom rugs once a week. Hmmm. Not cool. I've never stepped in it yet... and I better freaking not ever... cause the rug is right next to the box, and I don't care if the box already has some poop in it... you better use the box. I've used outhouses... I've even used port-a-potties that are damn near full... no, it's not the most pleasant experience, but dammit... you don't see me shitting on the rug. :)

But you know what... even if my little guy is crazy now... ok wait, he's not little anymore... he is already way bigger than my old cat ever was. He's a huge cat, and he's only 6 months. But anyway... the thing about him is this... even if he is crazy, he is SO freaking lovable. He is a cuddler. He loves to be pet. He will sit in your lap and purr, purr, purr. He lets you pet his belly and cover him in kisses. And we even have a little thing worked out....he always sleeps on my left side tucked in near my waist.

It is very cool having a cat. And I love my cat. I know I've said this before. But, he is really just so cool. :)

In other news... I bought a toaster yesterday. This may not seem like a big deal to anyone... but, I haven't had a toaster in years. In China, I think they were rare and expensive. I toasted bread in the oven. Do you know how long that takes? By the time you heat up the oven... a long time! Then I moved here, and still didn't have a toaster, and still wanted one. I learned to toast bread on the stove, in a pan... but that more so burns the bread, rather than just toasting it. So yesterday I laid down my 12.62Ls, and I got myself a toaster... but, you know... you'd think this would be easy... it wasn't all that...

We (Ds and I) went to Rimi Hypermarket... it's a superstore with about 1/3 of the stuff that, lets say, Meijer has...but it's the biggest superstore this side of the Daugava. Anyway... I go to the toaster section and find the cheapest one that is made by a name I know. Philips. Good. I can do that. Now, I look on the shelf, and there only appears to be the one display one. No more. Damn. So I look around to see if I can find someone to help me. Hmmm... nope.

So I walk to the next section of the store... there's a guy in a red Rimi shirt working in the sporting goods... maybe he can. So I go up to him and ask, "Can you help me find someone who works in that section?"
He answers, "There is no one."
Me, "What do you mean, no one?"
Him, "No one works in that section anymore."
Me, "So, what should I do? I just want to buy a toaster."
"Well... no one works in that section."
"So I can't buy a toaster today? Toasters are no longer for sale?"
"Well, no, I guess..."
"Can YOU come help me?" I start to walk away, implying that he just better follow...
"I don't know anything about this department..."
"I just need to find a toaster!"

So we go, and look, and he concludes that indeed the display toaster is the last of its kind. So I ask him if I can take it. He says why not. So we start to pack it up! This becomes a team effort because inside the box is more boxy stuff and plastic stuff and papers and you just need more than two hands. I'm just closing the top flap having figured out the right angle at which to insert the toaster and which cardboard went where when a woman in a red shirt walks around the corner.

"The toasters are all here!"

Man from the sporting goods department turns to see his colleague who "doesn't exist" because no one works in this section anymore. He gets all perplexed, "What are YOU DOING HERE? No one works in this department anymore!"

Meanwhile I feel like a bit of a jackass, but mostly, I just want my toaster and to get on with my shopping. So I say to the lady, "What should I do?"

She says, "Just go take one of those toasters. It's ok, I'll unpack this one."

And so I went and got my toaster... which was on an aisle end display, and got on with my shopping.

I bet you never knew it was so hard to buy a toaster. Toasters are the kind of thing I certainly used to take for granted. Not anymore.

When I got home, I made some toast, and buttered it, and put some Vegemite over the butter. Vegemite is my new favorite spread. I like it on bread and crackers. I'm not quite JS yet... I don't put it on literally EVERTHING... but I do like it.... and DID YOU KNOW??? Apparently vitamin B12 is a happy vitamin. It keeps your spirits up. Well, Vegemite is chock full of B vitamins... and I have been feeling quite happy lately! Who knew? Not me! So I figure SOMEONE better get me a LARGE jar of Vegemite to get me through the winter. :) I like being this happy... and while I was attributing it to some other factors in my life... if Vegemite is going to help... then bring on the Vegemite!

So... a cat without balls, toasters and B12's... that's life these days. It's good. Better yet, it's Friday afternoon, and we're off to the bar. See you later...

With my morning cup of tea...

I head to the bus stop every morning cup of tea in hand. No, no, I'm not talking about a little tea cup... I'm talking about 16 fl oz of steaming hot tea, kept safe and at temperature in one of my fancy schmancy beautiful Starbucks insulated tumblers.

Well guess what? I am one of three people in all of Riga that have such a cup, and so that makes me weird.

Every morning I get stare after stare... people look at me twice, three times... "Is she carrying a cup? What does she have in there?" they wonder. Futher more, why would you EVER carry a cup with you while you're walking?

On the bus it only gets worse. I'm usually chilling out to some chants on my iRiver as well... so I'm oblivious to what is going on around me...I've got my warm tea, and my music... it's almost therapeutic. But then I feel it... the stare.

I look to my left... stinky old man is looking from my face to my ear to my cup, Face, ear, cup. He can't figure me out. Then I feel it again. I look to my right. Mismatched, over-coloured, skirt too short, boots to pointy girl is glaring, eyes holding the stare as if in combat with the cup.

Then, here comes the killer... the conductor apporaches. She wants my money, but apparently she's been up since 4, and also wants someone to talk to. So, I grudgingly take one ear piece out.

She asks me, "What is that?"

"A cup, my tea," I reply.

"Tea? I thought that was a vase! How do you get tea in there? Does it stay warm?"

"Yes, the top comes off. But when you put it back on, it stays warm for a couple hours at least."

"Well, if you've got your tea, where are your buscuits?"

"In my bag," I lie... because while I already ate my breakfast pb&j sandwich on my way to the bus stop, I do have my lunch packed and in my bag.

The conductor laughs... thinking me too funny, that clearly I am packing my whole kitchen on my person every morning. I smile, and hope this exchange has come to an end.

Not so lucky. The conductor decides to drive right on to further intricacies. Since she knows all about my habits, she naturally assumes that I want to know all about hers. So I get the full scoop on how the life of the conductor is "not as glamorous as it might seem." And when she gets up, and when she gets to eat, and how to keep all that food from just making her "thicken up"... and then somehow that just moves right on to how difficult her job is, and how they hold the conductors and the drivers of the busses accountable for everything. I hear stories of spilled drinks and nicked paint... none of which is anyone's fault, but it comes out of their pay. Finally,

"Basteja Bulvaris. Nakama pietura, Kipsala." Thank god... we've arrived at the next stop. More passengers climb on, and the conductor is swept away with making sure that every person that climbs on pays their 20 santims.

I make a quick turn, move towards the door. I have to get off at the next stop, and the closer I am to the door, the better. I shove the ear piece back in my ear... relieved to hear an "Om". I look down and realize that I am still clutching my own 20 santims. Somehow, I never managed to pay the lady while we were talking. As she walks by, I reach out my hand. She looks at me, smiles, pushes my hand back. I guess I paid with my attention this morning...

All because of the cup.

Will I stop carrying my tea in a cup every morning? No. I won't stop. However, I might just try to ignore the feel of the stare, so as not to make eye-contact. Although, I'm sure there will be some other morning when unsuspecting, half asleep, I might follow the pull of eyes... and land myself in another conversation, about the cup.

Travel should be cheap

This is just how I feel today. Traveling should be cheap. It just should. If it wasn't so damn expensive people would do it more... and then we'd have a happier world. And people would see more, see how things REALLY are other places... and then I think that people would be more accepting of how others are.

But mostly, today, I think travel should be cheap because I miss my friends all over the world... I miss people in the US, in China, in Australia (some I haven't even met yet!), in England, other parts of Europe... there are so many people all over the world to miss! And it SUUUUUUUUUUUCKS when things are going on in their lives and you can't be a part of it because there is this stupid thing called distance between you.

And me choosing one location to stay put in would have no effect on this... because there would still be people elsewhere to miss. This is my life. I am not a stay in one place kind of girl (at least not yet). Until I am, I guess people will be far away, and that is why I think travel should be cheap.

I miss my friends.

To be or not to be...

friends with an ex?

Well... I know how I feel about it.

let's take a look... possible situation...

You look over the bar... your eyes meet... you gravitate towards each other... you end up dancing all night... you THINK you know his name... as you stumble home from the bar together, you know his name, where he works, and that you think he's HOT. You fall in bed. The next morning, you roll over, look at each other... share a morning-breath kiss, laugh... you can tell this is actually going to go somewhere.

You spend the whole day together, and the next week... A month later, all you know is you're in a relationship and quite happy about it. More months pass... you find reasons to spend time together... you find out about each other's emotional and intelligent sides... maybe you meet some family... you find the things that you can tolerate doing together... even though your taste in music, books (he hasn't read one EVER), and food are totally different... you find that you can compromise on which movies to watch, which bars to drink at, and which sexual position to assume. Things are good. You're happy getting to know someone... although, quite alarmingly, as you get to talking more and more about the things that are most important to you in life... you find out that these things are just as different as your shoe size.

Another month goes by, and you realize that, without bars and sex, this relationship hasn't got much going for it. It's not that you don't love him... because you do... after 6 months of playing house together, you know each other's routines... you know how to please each other, what to do to make the other one smile... but you also KNOW that you will not be able to fulfill each other's desires in life... not just that, but you will not even be able to walk down a similar path together... so even though daily life *is* ok... it's time to end it. So now... when you take away the sex and the bars... is it really worth "staying friends"? (Even though you were NEVER friends to begin with?)

I would answer this question with a resounding no. If friendship isn't where it started, then friendship is NOT where it's going to end. At least not in my experience so far.

Everyone who knows me, knows that I firmly believe that it is better to have loved and lost than to never loved at all. After HG I almost lost that one... but, luckily, I can still see the good that came out of that... and I am glad for having had the experience. But, does that mean that I should try to be friends with him? No.

I have loved many times in my life. They have been different kinds of loves... some serious, some not so much... some that masked themselves as love, when what I was really searching for was some love of self... but they have ALL been worth it. I have gained something from each and every relationship and emotion that I have had. And I do not regret any of them. None. But does that mean that I should remain friends with them? No.

People come in and out of your life. Some stay... some just leave an impression. (I know there is some great quote about this thought, but I can't remember it right now...) When it comes to relationships ending, I find that it is better to let them end. Even in the few cases when I have TRIED to remain friends with an ex... one of two things happen... 1) you end up having sex again, or getting hurt again, because one of you continues to have feelings etc, that the other one doesn't, or 2) you really quickly run out of things to talk about and then you stop "being friends" anyway, or someone gets hurt... because, you spent all that time together, when if you ran out of things to talk about, you could just kiss and hug and have sex and pretend that you didn't run out of things to talk about... but when sex is no longer an option... and you run out of things to talk about... you're screwed. So... why put yourself through that?

Now... if you started off as friends... knew each other a long time, or even a short time, but none-the-less started off as friends, and then just gave it the "Could this be something more?" that turned into the "Oh God, no, this is SO not anything more"... there is a chance that you could remain friends after a substantial break from each other. (Enough time to get the thought of each other's naked body out of your head.) This is your only chance.

This is my experience... and this is my blog... so what I say goes. :) So when my ex is now emailing me, asking me why I'm giving him the silent treatment, I told him straight up... I'm not... I'm just moving on.

And that is NOT to say that if I see him on the street I won't be polite... God help me, when I do run into him (he lives so close, it's BOUND to happen) I will be alone, and not with my new beau... but when I run into him, I will say hi, politely ask how he's been... tell him how I am... I will smile, and I will give a little laugh remembering how things used to be between us (because at one point, it was VERY good)... and then I will say, it was nice to see you... I wish you all the best... and I will walk away... with no lies about "we should get together" or "I'll call you", because we shouldn't... and I won't. But I will treasure our memories as a part of my experience forever... I will thank you for having helped make me the person I am today... because without you, I would not be the same...but, what we had is over now... and it shall remain as a part of my past... and we will not be friends.

And so I say, it is not to be...

Men are from Mars...

Women are from venus... I never read the book... but, I have a friend who did. And lets face it... I've lived through enough relationships to know that men and women just plain function differently when it comes to these things, and to think that we don't is just absurd.

Roomie and I saw the movie The Break-up last night... which rather amusingly was translated as Breaking up American Style by the Latvian theater. This is just great because now all these people will think that this is really the way that it happens in America... that we ALL pull the kind of shenanigans that "Brooke" and "Gary" pulled in the movie. But I digress...

Before I could even thinking about the movie, Vince Vaughn disturbingly much reminded me of the ex HG. Whoah. I didn't really mind, but it was just at first, a little hard to get into the movie.

I liked the movie though. Why did I like it? Because I could follow it. Even if I couldn't exactly relate to the silly things that they did to each other, I could certainly relate the things she was feeling. I probably woulnd't have been as strong as to not take him back at the one point, especially given that what's his name was just there about the art. Although... I have recently been strong enough to get rid of a couple guys when I know it's no longer working... even if it does take a few tries. So maybe I would have. Who knows.

Anyway... the point here is... that the eccentric Ms. NS wanted me to make a new post and this is what is on my mind. I don't think you have to read the book (Mars, Venus) to know and understand that men and women deal with relationships differently.

All this has been actual in my life in the last week as well. The new boy and I just went through a small Mars/Venus type moment. It was about personal space. His need for it, my lack of a need for it. We've dealt with it now, and all is well again in "our" world. Which is good. Cause, even though it's raining every day, and some days the sun isn't even shining anymore... the world still seems a little brighter when he smiles at me.