Merry Christmas!

I have already learned so much about my camera since being in Oz that would have made these pics so much better... ah well... Merry Christmas and Happy Solstice to all!

Lots of gray space

Sigh... isn't she just the most perfect thing, ever?

We've been residing in the gray recently...that is, not seeing things in black and white. It seem- and I think this is generally a good thing- that I am not generally, as a parent, seeing things in black and white. I'm often going back and forth on things, which leaves me in the gray area.

The biggest thing we've been dealing with is sleep. Beni used to be a very, very good sleeper. Sure, in the very beginning I was tired, but, I don't think my lack of sleep compared at all to most new moms because Beni slept so well from day 1- until a few weeks ago. We now have a child who wakes often in the evening (she goes to bed at 6:30/7:00, and wakes often between 7 and 12), fusses often in the night (between 12 and 6).

So I've been doing research, reading books on sleep, and trying to figure out what to do, or if to do anything- often pondering the question, is this a phase or a problem? Certain things will not be changing- we'll continue co-sleeping, and I'm certainly going to continue breastfeeding, even in the night, if she really needs it. I am trying to get her to take the paci in the night now and then, or just to soothe her with cuddles and music instead of boob. Sometimes it works, and sometimes it doesn't.

Sometimes I find myself getting a little worked up, because there is so much pressure to "do things right" (as if that is one obvious way). And everyone always asks, "Is she a good baby?" and "Does she sleep well?" The first question is obviously the stupidest question ever... has anyone EVER answered that question by saying, "No, she's bad"??? But there is so much pressure about the sleep thing as well. As if sleep is the greatest measure of a successful parent. I don't know...Beni is about the happiest baby...everywhere we go people always say she's amazing, that she always seems happy, that she is calm and inquisitive and just an all around joy. But she's not sleeping a 12 hour stretch...does one negate the other?

Anyway... my gray area on it is that while it would be nice and certainly very convenient for her to sleep 12 hours- which is why I find myself doing little things here and there to encourage her longer sleep- I also know that she's just this little tiny person. And who knows what is going on inside that head. Who knows why she wakes often, or what she's thinking, or why she's crying, instead of just falling back asleep. What I do know, is that she will only be this small for such a very, very short time- I know, because I see my friends and family living it all the time- that I will blink and she will be like 3 and all of this will be behind us, and there is a chance that she will be such a fiercely independent little girl that she will give me a kiss goodnight and roll over to go to sleep in her own bed. Who knows. I do know she won't be nursing or cuddling me to sleep when she's going off to university- we're safe there.

So I waver between wanting her to go ahead and sleep longer, and feeling like who cares...if she needs me in the middle of the night right now, then she needs me in the middle of the night right now. The choices we have made for our family, with me staying home, allow for me to be available to her at night if she needs me because I don't have to worry about being awake at work the next day. That said, even though she fusses at night, we still sleep pretty well because of the co-sleeping, because when she wakes I don't have to get up, or even wake up fully to tend to her.

I'll tell ya what doesn't fall into my gray area- me standing, probably crying, outside of the room inside which my child lies crying. Right now, for my little 7 mos old baby, that is a very definite black space, otherwise known as not going to happen. If mamma and baby are both crying, I just don't see the good....it doesn't sound like fun for anyone. If the time does come when I really need to teach my child to sleep, then, as with everything I ever hope to teach my child, I will choose a method that does not automatically include my child being in tears. I'm not saying there might not be some tears along the way anyway...but, my intention would be to avoid them.
So yeah... that's our gray space for now... revolving around the sleep issue. Who knows what the next one might be, or how this one might resolve itself.

7 months old!

How is it even possible that she's 7 months old already!?!?! What freaks me out the most is that she is officially closer to being a year old than she is to being a newborn. Yikes!

As you can see from the pics here....she's standing as often as possible...just loves it! She pulls up on everything and anything from her play table to the couch, chairs, the bed, end tables.... and of course her baby gate. :) The good news is that she is having a lot less spills. And when she does I give her a homeopathic Arnica tablet (they dissolve on contact) and so far, she's not having any more bruises! Yay.

She still has no teeth.

That said, she sure does continue to act as though they might be poking through at any moment. She drops drool bombs often, chews on stuff all the time, and is generally cranky.

Despite what this picture shows...

She does smile a lot too. :) But she has not been sleeping very well either. She has been waking a lot, taking a long time to go down in general, and being well... testy. I think that she might also she having a growth spurt. Everywhere we go people are commenting on how big she suddenly is...or how fat she suddenly is. Growing is by all means good... but, man... is it trying for mamma! So yeah, between the possibility of teeth and growing extra hard, we've had one cranky, needy baby on our hands. But it's all ok. This is just a phase, and it too shall pass. I'm her mamma and I just need to love her and be there for her, and help her through it. :)

Ah, and she continues to crawl like a pro!
Action shots...

(Did you notice that in the first picture she's nearly crying because she was mad at me for picking her up and putting her away from me- but then she spotted the camera/camera strap, and took off all smiles trying to get it!)

I never get bored watching Beni learn and grow. She is very inquisitive- which means she gets into everything (tries to anyway)...but it also means that she often pauses and looks so very seriously at something. Sometimes it's the tv, sometimes it's her hand, sometimes a toy, sometimes something off in space that I can't pick out.

She's gorgeous when she's thinking...

(Also, I muss her hair on purpose all the time because if it's tidy and laying down flat, you can't even see it- so I give it some crazy volume, and bam, she's got hair!) :)

Walking and talking, eating and reading...

Seems like it was time for a new post. So I thought I would let you know what Beni is up to these days. She's crawling. Her form is not perfect, but, she gets around no problem. She is still going between crawling on her knees to sometimes getting her feet involved, which then hinders progress. She's having no issues moving her arms along these days though. So good for her.

Then a few days after she started crawling, she also started pulling herself up on everything! She started by doing it on mine and Joel's legs when we were laying on our sides on the floor with her. And then she started pulling up on her play table- and then she did the baby gate. So, as if she wasn't falling over and banging her head enough just from getting wobbly when sitting, she is now also falling over from standing, which of course is way worse, because it's a longer way to fall! Here she is standing at her gate:






Oh and walking- as I mentioned in the title...she did actually use her play table as a walker the other day, and pushed it forward while taking a few steps. So, she's sort of already taken her first independent, but, of course, supported, steps. Yikes!

She is talking up a storm these days, though not putting out any discernible noises. She laughs at me when I go, "Mmmammmmaammmmmaaaa!" She seems to think it's some kind of joke. Ah well. In any case, it's fun to hear her babble away, and all the different noises that she does make, from blowing raspberries to screeching and everything in between.

She's had a few new tastes of some foods...

She likes to suck the life out of pickles and gum on them too
(much to Joel's chagrin, because he hates pickles and wanted her to hate them too)

She really enjoys brown rice cakes

And she finally decided she loves avocado. :)

Oh, and she's not reading yet... I just wrote that for Jem. :)

Happy Halloween!

6 months old...starting solids...

Beni turned 6 months old on the day we came back from Cape Town. That day we had to get up before 3am to get ready to leave for the airport by 3:30am. Beni woke at 3:30. She was awake for almost the whole ride to the airport, and for a large part of the rest of the day. She only napped here and there, so needless to say, by the time we got home she and I both were ready for a substantial nap. I woke from said nap before she did and took the opportunity to snap a few pictures of my little sleeping beauty. Six months old! That's half a year!!!

Don't you just want to give her smooches???
I do- all the time!

She did wake up a few minutes later...

Ah, here we go back to Cape Town though... we stayed in a very nice self-catering rental house. The only problem was, it was cold! It was a big old house with very high ceilings and fairly poor insulation. There were lots of drafts. Often, it was colder inside the house than it was outside. That is how we came by these cute pics of Beni and Joel both with their hoods up inside the house. Why Beni is eating Joel's nose... well... I guess she was hungry. :)

Now speaking of being hungry... Beni is often hungry and for now, and what seems the foreseeable future, she will continue to get her nourishment from me. While in Cape Town, just a day or two before her 6 mos birthday, she had her first try at solid food. We decided to start with avocado. For her first try she seriously had two, maybe three tries. She was very excited for the first bite. It was new and all that. But basically, as soon as she had one bite, she pulled a major face and only took one more bite willingly. I have no intention of forcing food on her, so as soon as she showed she didn't want anymore, we quit. She had some more the next day, and ate 5 or 6 bites that day. Here are some pictures of that first try...







Since trying avocado, she has had more avocado and carrots. She seemed to like the carrots better than the avocado based on the initial reaction, but then, she hasn't ever wanted more than a bite or two of those either. I think we'll do some kind of squash next, or maybe peas. I'm not too worried. I am fully subscribing to the school of thought that all of her nutrition is coming from breast milk until she is at least a year old. Food is for fun and exploring and having new experiences. I am, however, looking forward to being in Oz for Christmas and being able to feed her a few more foods that we can't get here... including sweet potatoes.

A very sad story I can tell you is about sweet potatoes. I love sweet potatoes. My mom loves sweet potatoes. Often, while I was pregnant we would make a meal of sweet potatoes- just steam them, top with some butter, salt and pepper and eat up a huge bowl. YUM. Well, I found out last Thanksgiving that you can buy sweet potato in Angola, but, it is NOT the sweet potato that I know and love. It is white on the inside and dry and crumbly and frankly, not at all with a pleasant taste. Not the sweet, mushy, wonderful orange stuff I love. Well, sweet potatoes are recommended as a first food for babies in the States often (maybe elsewhere?). So when we were in Cape Town I picked up a kilo bag of sweet potatoes and packed them up in my luggage and brought them back to Angola. As soon as we got back I was going to make them for Beni. Well...do you see where this is going?

As I was going to steam the potato for her, I started to peel it... and there, to my shock and horror was that stupid, nasty white flesh of the fake sweet potato! It never crossed my mind that they would have the same stupid sweet potato in South Africa that they do here. I seriously almost cried. In fact I might have. My lovely orange sweet potatoes must be grown more in northern Africa. Sigh. So now I have this whole kilo of potatoes that nobody wants to eat. I did steam a bit of that one for Beni and even mixed it with some breast milk. She was having none of it! So, technically, she has also had a bite of nasty potato. Avocado and carrots I will continue to give her so she can learn to love them. I am NOT going to be giving her any more nasty fake sweet potato. Urgh.

OK, ending on a cute note... we made full use of the bathtub in the house. Even though we have 4 bathrooms in our apartment here in Luanda, we don't have any bathtubs (stupid). So Beni took more baths in her one week in Cape Town than she usually does in two weeks here in Luanda. :) I took one with her, and I think she had two on her own. Clearly, she enjoys the water. Daddy is so happy. :)

Cape Town...

So I'm trying to do an update post, but the internet is no longer letting me upload photos, so I'm going to have to stop here, and add another post tomorrow.

We got back from Cape Town, South Africa on Sunday. We had been there for about 9 days. It was a really, really lovely time. The weather was generally wonderful, if a little on the cold side. The landscape around Cape Town is amazing... green, mountainous, colorful (flowers and whatnot) and all surrounded by striking water. It was really beautiful!

We enjoyed a lot of shopping (ok, Joel didn't really enjoy that part, but, I did), good food (both grocery shopping wise and in restaurants) and time spent with friends. We vacationed with two other couples... Joel went surfing with the boys, while us girls went wedding dress shopping with one of the girls. It was fun.

We definitely got a reminder about how life is more fun if we respect Beni's needs. She is such a trooper about being out of the house- she'll eat anywhere, nap anywhere, etc... but, eventually, the days just get too long, and if we're not home by bedtime she lets us know. Neither Joel nor I am the kind of people or parents that want to give up everything we love just because we have a baby- we'd rather take the baby along, and include her in the things we love. But, there has to be some balance. Listening to her scream in the car because she's over-tired is horrible for all of us. We don't want to repeat that!

So, here are some pictures from Cape Town...

This is on the beach at Simon's Town. There is a penguin colony there- they are very cute, though not as small as the fairy penguins in Oz (and therefore not quite as cute), but they do hang out all day, so they are right there to look at all the time, unlike the fairy penguins.

Beni got hungry. Oh how I love the ease of breastfeeding!

Aren't they cute in their hats and sunnies? Penguins in the background...

Oh yeah, and then all the Chinese showed up and they were far more interested in Beni than the penguins.

This is chronologically out of order, which is why my hair is still blonde in the following pictures, but dark in the previous ones... on one of our first days we drove way up the coast to Hermanus to see the whales. Apparently it was a good thing we went when we did, because they moved out just the next day or something. We got quite the show as well...see pics below!

And here are some pictures back home again... but they relate to Cape Town because Beni's new toys are pictured here! We got her a few new ones- look at all that colorful plastic! I really want NICE wooden blocks for her, but we couldn't find any.

Here she shows off her bear pose... but no, she is not crawling at all. She gets up in this pose, cycles her feet, but does not move her arms at all. Also, that outfit she has on is a 9mos size!

Funny thing is we went to a pediatrician while we were in South Africa and Beni weighed in a 15.5lbs and 25.5in, which puts her at the 25th percentile- which is obviously on the small side. I don't know how baby clothing companies size their clothes, if a small 6 mos old is already wearing 9 mos size clothes!

I did quite a bit of shopping for Beni while in SA of course. This was one of my favorites of the things I picked up. Isn't it cute? I think it is a pajama (which is what she was wearing it as today), but I think it's cute enough to wear as an outfit. The words read, "Give me peace on earth". I love it! She's too cute!

So that's it for now... I'll try tomorrow to post more... I've got pics of Beni trying food for the first time, and some cute ones of her with her dad.