It's been an emotional few days...

This week a dear, old friend of mine lost her fiance to his battle with cancer. She is 12 days younger than me, he was a year younger. We all worked together in Shanghai, so I knew him as well. I haven't seen either of them since I left China, and yet, because of the unique circumstances that compromise international school teaching, we'd kept in touch, and as I said, having been one of my best friends in China, she is certainly still a friend today.

Kristin and Andrew were engaged, and had set two wedding dates, neither of which they reached together. Being a bride-to-be myself, my heart absolutely breaks for them, that they were not able to reach this milestone. It brings tears to my eyes every time I think about it. I cannot, for anything, imagine losing Joel, and I cannot fathom what Kristin is going through.

Here is what I remember of Andrew:

He was the kind of guy that made you laugh. He always had some witty thing to say, some silly joke. He was tall, and frankly, good-looking. The boy was a Harvard graduate, who taught PE and Technology in the years that I knew him. My favorite memory of him is him telling me and some other teachers about how much he loved teaching the 3 year old preschoolers. He raved about the girl who was a genius, because she could skip. :) He once told us about how a PE class with preschoolers is just a free for all- getting them all to do the same thing at once a success in and of itself. He once told a story that I possibly dare not believe about using a preschooler as a back scratcher- it went something like, "Let's pretend to be tigers! Show me your claws!" And then, he says he grabbed one by the ankles, and raised the kid above his head upside down, and well, used the "tiger claws" as a back scratcher! Lord, I would pay to see it. :)

From what I remember, Andrew was always up for a night out. Andrew ate cheap Chinese food. Andrew loved Kristin. When Andrew and Kristin were together the first time around, there was a time when he first stayed the night at her place, and telling us about his weekend, he mentioned that he had pancakes with Kristin out in Pudong on Sunday morning. We were in the staff room at lunch time, and I replied, "Gee, you must have gotten up early on Sunday to have breakfast in Pudong!" Oh how we laughed. It was real even then, it just needed the right time.

I never actually saw Kristin and Andrew as a couple in person because they only got together again after I left China. I only ever saw it in pictures. But even from their pictures, I saw a connection that I knew I wanted. You could see that they had "it".

I can't imagine that Andrew is gone. I can't imagine that he and Kristin won't get to live out their dreams together. I have no idea how to support Kristin, especially from a million miles away. It all seems way too much to handle, not right at this young age, impossible to believe that this bright, energetic, vibrant young man has taken his leave of this world.

So, it's been an emotional few days. Memorial services are planned for the 10th, which means there is no chance of attending, since we'll still be here. If you believe in such a thing, and are willing to do so, please keep my friend Kristin in your prayers, as she naviagtes this, surely one of the toughest times of her life.

Rest in peace, Andrew.