So cheesy, and so into it

I've been through some spaces in the last couple of weeks. You'd think that with just having gotten engaged, I'd have promptly chosen a quality spot on cloud nine and stayed there. Yeah, well- you know me, nothing is ever that easy.

Don't get me wrong- for the 5 days that followed the actual proposal, when we were enjoying a long weekend, and not having to worry about normal every day things, I clung pretty steadfastly to my spot up in the clouds. But alas, we had to return to the real world, and with that return, came a whole truck load of things to deal with.

Mainly what hit me was that WE HAVE TO ORGANIZE A WEDDING! Now, this is actually a complicated enough task, full stop. But adding in that our wedding is going to connect people from several continents, that it is going to happen in a place where none of us has ever been, and that nearly all the planning has to take place "virtually"- it becomes pretty daunting.

I started doing internet searches for everything- hotels, resorts, dresses, you name it. Everything is hard to imagine, hard to believe and well- just hard to understand honestly.

My biggest concern was getting a date and a venue set. Because we are planning a destination wedding, not in the world's cheapest locale, I felt it only fair to give my family and friends, many of whom I hope will join us for the big day, fair warning with what to expect.

After days of wracking my brain, fruitless internet searches and a couple fights with Joel, I finally decided to just find someone to help us. I found a wedding planner online- signed up- got in touch- and started breathing again.

No final decisions have been made yet- not even the date or the venue, because we're still mulling over a few very important points (mainly points dealing with money)- but, the thing is that I now have someone knowledgeable working with me to help me get there. She's asking the questions she knows to ask, and giving me answers that I wouldn't ever have found elsewhere. Most importantly, she's going to make Hawaii work for us, and our guests. :)

So now, now that I am breathing again, I am getting into it. I am getting all cheesed out about being engaged and being a bride and planning a wedding! :) Did you see the total cheese of a count down ticker I have up in the left hand corner there? It's set to a fake wedding date right now, since we don't know what it is yet- but it's accurate within a week. :)

I don't plan on turning into a bridezilla (does anyone?). But I mean, I don't have any grand ideas about how I want things to look either- although I've always dreamt of being married and having babies, I never really dreamt about the wedding itself. I know little bits and pieces. It was easy to pick Hawaii as a place to do it, because a wedding on the beach, or overlooking the beach would be perfect. I know I want blue details in my wedding dress- but I don't know what kind. I know I want good photography, because while everything else about the wedding (not the marriage!) will last only that one day, the pictures will be forever. Of course, I want to be with as many friends and family as can make it. And more importantly than anything else, Joel will be the person I share this day with.

So I'm excited to plan, to explore options and to see how it might all come together. Right now, I am very focused on the things that I can do NOW- feeding myself well, sleeping enough, exercising, breathing- which will have an effect on how everything turns out on that day. And I'm not going to lie- I can't wait until we have a hotel booked, and I am put in touch with the wedding coordinator on site to start talking colors and flowers and all that fun stuff. I really can't wait to get to Melbourne in December so that I can really think dresses. I know I'm in good hands on this one- and am very excited about it!

I'm excited! That is what it comes down to! I am totally excited! And um yeah, I plan on doing plenty of sitting around daydreaming, imaging how wonderful it all will be. I plan on talking about it a lot. With everything else that is going on in the next year (A LOT) I totally plan on spending a whole lot of energy on this wedding. And I'm totally excited!

Like the woman so excited to be pregnant, she starts wearing maternity tops in her second month, I want to wear the "Future Mrs. Smedes" t-shirt, like now. :)

Excited! Cheesy! Happy! In love! (and finally breathing again, thanks to the wedding planner...)