There are little things that have started to push me over the edge with living abroad. I already mentioned long ago (maybe the autumn of 2011?) that I was missing being home because I didn't like that my kid was missing out on some traditions and celebrations that just don't translate to other places.
Having had my mom visit recently made me REALLY realize just how much I like having family around. And yes, by that I do mean my family of origin. I do adore the family I married into, but, I don't think many would argue the fact that you can't replace your family of origin. When my mom visited, even though I was going through one of the most stressful transitions I've ever done (going back to work and leaving my kids at home), except for one very bad evening, I maintained a fairly level head that whole time, despite everything else that was going on. I attribute the ease of the transition 100% to her being here.
There is this thing too, when you live abroad, and you don't have a lot of close people around, where your spouse becomes your everything even more than usual. A close relationship with your spouse is a good thing, no doubt. But expecting your spouse to be....I was going to make a list, but, the list of people that your family, friends, and various support groups are in your life is just too long to write out. It puts needless stress on a relationship. It can make it harder to get through tough times. And it does make you closer too, but... yeah, it can be tough.
But, there are these other things that are doing me in right now, beyond missing family and location specific traditions/holidays. And it's little things. Like, so little, you're going to shake your head at me... but these are the little stressors that build up over time until you're like, "Holy crap, make it stop!"
While my mom was here the tub that we use in the kitchen sink (because we don't have drain stoppers in the kitchen, and we have never been able to find any that fit, so, we had to finally buy and use a tub) got broken somehow. It cracked in one corner. I don't know how it happened, but I can tell you this- we hadn't had it that long. And you're thinking, "What's the big deal? Go get another tub." Well, fine, I will... but I have to go to THAILAND to get another tub! Yes. I have to go across the border into another country to get a tub that is the right size and shape for my sink. And, last time we were in Thailand this happened and then that happened, and I went into this store, and Joel went to that store, and the kids were sleeping, and next thing you know, we're back in Lao and we don't have a tub. So we're washing dishes with running water again. Until next time.
While we were on vacation last week, we were in Thailand, in Bangkok and with some friends down in Rayong. It was a lovely 10 days away. And every night, the kids would have a bath or shower. Then we'd put their pjs on, and brush their teeth, and we'd brush Beni's hair. But not before spraying it with detangler. She has very fine, easily tangled hair- so even just washing it makes it a rat's nest. So detangler is a must. Well, guess what? On our first night back, there was no detangler. It got left somewhere. Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!! Now, we're back to using this cheapo brand we got in Australia which should be fine right? I mean, what kid needs $13 a bottle hair detangler? Well, actually, this cheap stuff, if you use more than 1 spray (you need like 5 for it to work), leaves Beni's hair gunky and nasty. Like, might as well just not even wash it. While the $13 a bottle one from the States works fine, even with a good 5 sprays...but as you just read... it comes from the STATES! You can't buy it here. And now you want to say to me... but come on... it can't be that bad. HAVE YOU EVER TRIED TO BRUSH A LITTLE GIRL'S HAIR WITHOUT USING DETANGLER???? HAVE YOU EVER EVEN SPENT 5 MINUTES WITH MY TODDLER??? Holy mother of God... someone send me some more detangler!!!!!!!!!!!!! It's a freaking global crisis!!! SOMEONE GET US SOME DETANGLER!!!! (California Baby brand, please!) You know the real pisser? That bottle was new. My mom only just brought it with her when she came, so we didn't own it for even a month before it got lost, which also means it was basically full. Which makes me feel even worse of course!
Because also, you think to yourself... "but come on, you're traveling to a foreign country with two children, staying in two different spots, going from place to place literally by plane, train and automobile (and tuk-tuk), you're bound to lose something along the way." Yes, it's true... traveling with kids like that means something inevitably gets left somewhere... but, it wasn't the lotion, which I have 3 more stockpiled bottles of at home. It wasn't the soap/shampoo which I can buy here. It wasn't anything but one of the few things that you can't get here, is expensive, and probably illegal to ship because it's a freaking liquid! Do you see what I'm saying here???
Now, my point, if you haven't understood it yet, is that I'm losing my mind, and it's these little things that are doing me in. Obviously, I am WAY TOO UPSET over a tub and some detangler. But these little things make a huge difference in my life. They mean being able to wash the dishes with warm water (since only cold comes from the tap, and we have to boil it to have warm). It means being able to SOAK dishes. It means having only a level 11 (out of 10) tantrum after every bath every night instead of a level 20.
I have been told sometimes that life "back home" is boring- suburbs, shopping malls, tv and McDonald's- boring. But the longer I stay abroad, the more I think the only reason living in some of the places I've lived ISN'T boring is because life is so freaking hard you don't have time to be bored! Because you have to spend your time doing things like driving across the border to get a tub. Or running around to 3 different grocery stores and a couple markets to find all the ingredients you need for a certain dish.
You know what? I'm ready for easy. I'm ready for being able to get through things like shopping and laundry and dishes easily. I'm certainly ready to be near my family again. Bring on the boring... because boring also includes theater, movies (at the cinema), grocery stores and farmers markets and health food stores coming out my ears, concerts (and I don't just mean the 1 concert a year that everyone goes to because it's the only one to go to- I mean, choose your band, see where they are playing and go!), libraries, parks...eh... another list that is too long to write in its entirety.
So, yeah... this is what's going on inside my head... just in time for us to decide that we probably won't be leaving Lao until 2015 for sure. So... two more years of "not boring". *Sigh* Thankfully there is lots I like about living abroad too... but that's not what this was about....
No comments:
Post a Comment