It's been a crazy few months. Life has been unsettled to say the least. At the end of March, Beni and I left Laos and headed back to Michigan. We moved in with my dad and step-mom. Although there was offer of more space, we lived in one bedroom (it wasn't realistic for us to use more space really- the other bedrooms were needed time and time again for other people the whole time we were there)- even when Joel arrived and when we welcomed Zintis. We ended up 4 people living in one bedroom. Of course we didn't have all our stuff- the stuff which was left in Laos- but even just clothes and daily items for 4 people in one bedroom gets a little stuffy. Anyway...
We lived with them and during that time we referred to my dad's house as "Grandpa's house", though as you do, when we were out, we would say we were "going home". Then as the time approached to come back to Laos, we started talking about our house back here (which Beni left when she was 23 mos old, and was coming back to 5 mos later after only ever having lived in it for 7 mos) and we called it the house near where Bubba (our nephew) lives. (I thought this would be a good reference point- but now when we leave the house she says, "Bye Bubba's house!")
Also during the time we were in the States we spent time at The Trailer, Ang's house, Arija's house, Grandma's house, Mary's house and probably a few other places. All places that Beni came to be familiar enough with to know, to feel comfortable wandering around, etc.
We got back to Laos and Joel's parents, Oma and Opa, showed up less than 24 hours after we did. They are leaving today after a two week stay.
My point here is that we've lived in a million different places, spent time with a million different people and all of it has been a bit crazy! Especially considering that in that time Beni and I were apart from Joel for 2 mos, then we added a child to our family, and then after a whole summer (well, 6 weeks anyway) of being a family of 4 together all the time, Joel went back to work only a couple days after we returned.
It's been unsettled. There have been very few constants. It is no wonder Beni doesn't know where she lives, who she lives with, what happened, what isn't going to change (no, Oma and Opa are NOT taking Zintis with them!) and so on. Lord help us help her feel grounded sooner or later!
But you know what? Partially it's been great. And the part that has been wonderful is spending time with all these different people. Some grandparents are more available than others, but, I have to say that after having some help with the kids in the way that I have during these months- it's enough to make me want to live near them!
As I said before in my last post, I'm not finding this transition to two kids the easiest thing. And frankly at this point, I can REALLY see how having the opportunity to drop Beni off at her grandma's house for a few hours two mornings a week would make it that much more possible for me to not only get stuff done, but to enjoy Beni when she came back. Because the thing is, I KNOW she is the awesome-est little two year old girl ever. But sometimes being together 24/7 makes it hard to remember that.
And the thing is, the fact that I'm finding things difficult sometimes doesn't mean I want to change my whole parenting philosophy. I don't want to ship Beni off to preschool 5 days a week just so I can get a break. I want to rise to the challenge and be the parent I think I can be, the one Beni deserves (not to mention Zintis)- it just isn't easy. And having a regular date with a grandparent fits in really wonderfully with my parenting philosophy.
Now don't even get me started on how awesome it was to hang out with friends who happen to be parents of similar aged kids and be able to enjoy adult time while also knowing that your kids are all having a great time together.
Not going to lie- there are a lot of things pulling me back to the States right now... so we'll see if we can make it happen. It's certainly an option on the radar right now.
No comments:
Post a Comment