Because I'm obsessed with finding good pictures of myself...

I know I am not the only woman out there (maybe just person?) who is slightly taken with finding pictures of herself that she likes. Possibly more than others, but I know I am not alone.

Anyway, I am even kind of obsessed with pictures. Someone told me that it's been proven that what we see in the mirror is different than what we see in a picture. This explains why often when I look in the mirror I tend to think something along the lines of, "Looking good, hot stuff!" and then I see a picture and I cry out, "Dear God, tell me that is not what I look like in real life!?!" with a knife to my wrist and tears in my eyes.

I know, we see things in pictures of ourselves that other people don't see. We should all try to see pictures of ourselves through other people's eyes, but, well, I think that is easier said than done.

Picture taking in general makes me kind of nervous. Some may recall a point in time when I became aware that by sticking my neck out and flexing my neck muscles during picture taking I was less likely to end up with a "schneck" (the dreaded combination cheek/neck which makes anyone look like a complete fool). I remember another friend, the awesome Dom Nem once told me (and two other gals, we were having a meal at a restaurant in Hainan, China, where someone later spilled a mango daiquiri all over me- like my psycho memory?) that in order to look good in pictures one must put the chin down. This frightens me, because being of short, stocky neck, putting the chin down increases the chances of two or three chins popping up instead of just the one. But she said that is what models do. Well, if I looked like a model, it might work for me too.

Anyway, the point is that pretty much any time a camera comes out, thoughts start racing through my mind- tilt head, suck in stomach, don't swivel head, stand up straight, arms slightly out from sides (to avoid full unflattering flattening of upper arm), avoid profile at all costs! I can't just take pictures. And every picture that has been taken of me, especially for something like 4 windows, has been taken again and again and again, because no doubt, I always forget to do one of the things I am meant to do!

So, it's really no surprise that every once in a while, when I want a new picture for a profile or something, I end up standing in the kitchen snapping pictures of myself. The good thing is, every once in a while, I hit the exact right angles, the right light, the right flexed and relaxed muscles, and the right sparkle in my eye, and I end up with something like this...

a good picture of myself. :)

P.S. You can only imagine what kind of terror wedding day picture taking inspires in me, because God forbid that I get so caught up in feeling good that I forget to suck it in, stick it out, etc, that I end up with loads of pictures with doubles chins, pregnant looking bellies, and arms like tree trunks. Oh, and I haven't even mentioned the incredible feat of trying to keep my eyes open! Oh lord.
P.P.S. And you may desire to comment that I'll be so happy on that day that I won't care, but, guess what? I promise you that at this point in my life, bad pictures still have the power to make something blow- even if it is after the fact. What I'm saying is, it's very possible that I could end up hating my wedding pictures, no matter how happy I was that day.
P.P.P.S I am working, very hard I might add, at becoming a person who is not bothered by bad pictures. Or who doesn't see bad pictures as bad. Or something. It's a work in progress.