This is HARD work!

Tell ya what, finding a wedding gown is hard work! I've only spent two days, one and a half really, doing it, and I'm exhausted!

On the first day we went, I started out quite uncomfortable. All these big, pouffy, white dresses... it's not something I wear! But the first store we were in was a small, not very nice one- the carpets were old and dirty, the dresses were not very high quality, and the staff had too much going on at once.

The next store we went into was much nicer by comparison. It was clean, well organized, had nice large dressing areas, and had a nice darkish grey carpet. I have decided, in my completely irrational and unreasonable head, that the dark grey carpet makes for a good shop. :) In that shop I found two dresses that I really felt like a princess in. I even tried the one on twice, because I liked it so much. And when the lady put the veil on my head, "just to see" I nearly started crying. There is something about the veil that just makes you a bride!

After that one afternoon, I was quite excited for today's second excursion. My future mother-in-law (and seamstress) as well as one of my future sisters-in-law were coming with. And, we were going to shops where you need appointments. I was excited.

Somehow on the way to the first shop though, I freaked myself out. It was going to be too fancy for me, too posh (I like dressing up, but let's face it, I'm not posh!), and the worst fear, nothing was going to fit. Not to mention, today started off hormonally imbalanced, so everything I was feeling I was feeling twice as big as I usually would. The fact that my mom wasn't there had me in tears, as did the fact that I was not a size 0.

Also, at the first shop, somehow the first dress I tried on was one that the sales lady picked. I didn't even like it, would never have chosen it, and felt like a sausage in it- it did not set the stage well. So that shop was pretty much a wash. Thankfully, we had a bit of a ride to the next shop, the sun came out, and luckily, for some reason, my mood brightened.

When we got to the second shop of the day, the grey carpet made me happy as soon as I walked in. As did the fact that right away we saw several dresses that looked worth trying on.

The sales lady at that shop was a bit funky herself (in a good way, not a stinky way), younger, chattier, and a very good judge of style/appropriateness of dresses. I don't remember how many dresses I actually chose to try on there, but she ended up choosing a couple for me to try on which rocked my world.

The one was not something I would have ever chosen on my own. It was strapless, and had a mermaid style skirt- we called it the pouf dress, because it was also too long (as were, let me see, oh yeah, ALL of the dresses!), and therefore pouffed at the bottom way more than it would have at the right length. Anyway, the lady zipped me into that dress (I sucked in and held my breath), then tied a satin sash around my waist, pulled a couple other parts of the dress tighter where it was too loose (in the bum I think) and used those big clamps to secure the extra fabric, and suddenly, I felt like a bodaciously curvy movie star out of some long(ish) ago decade. It was not a dress I would ever have given a second glance, and it was just stunning. It was highly inappropriate for a beach wedding- but I couldn't stop staring at it. I also tried several times to breathe deeply, and kept being reminded that to keep this shape, I would have to give up something, and breathing was it. :) It was just so gorgeous though- I was kind of willing to give up breathing.

They finally got me out of that dress- actually, the lady "released" me :), I took a deep, luscious breath and then I tried on another dress that she had chosen. I can't tell you too much about this one, because, well, it's the top runner right now, and needs to be a surprise for at least one person if not most of you (because what better surprise do you have a wedding than what the bride is wearing?)...but, I can say that this was a style I liked, but never thought would look good on me. But this dress has secrets that you can't see that work really well. And it was gorgeous. And it is the softest silk, and light and airy and flowy and perfect for the beach. And gorgeous. And glamorous. And gorgeous. :)

Eventually, I took that one off too, and soon we were done at that store. We had some much needed lunch (and glass of wine), and headed off to another shop. Right away I saw 4 dresses that I really wanted to try on. This store was also nice and clean and had grey carpet in the trying on area, so I felt ok... but, none of these dresses were stunning like the last two. None of them were jaw dropping. And the lady kept asking me what I didn't like, but it was really just the overall effect- it just wasn't there. And what I really wanted to say to her was, "I just don't like it as much as the one down the road," but well, to get good service, you kind of have to pretend that you really want one of their dresses, so you can't tell em that you like someone else's dress better. So then I was stressing myself out trying to come up with little things I didn't like about each dress. The lady probably thought I was annoyingly picky. I did try on two dresses that were fairly nice, and pretended to like them more than I did to reach a sort of acceptable end to that particular session.

The thing is as well though- by the time you've tried on 20 white dresses in one day, they all start looking somewhat the same. This one has beading, that one has lace. This one is an a-line, that one is drop-waist. This one is egg-shell, that one is snowflake, and the third ivory. They start to blend together, unless they REALLY stand out. Also, everyone is looking for my reaction first- but I want everyone else's reaction- so we find ourselves in a push and pull, "What do you think?", "No, what do you think?"

Lastly, the thing that makes it hard to really feel good about any dress is when it doesn't fit. Of course, the stores cannot stock every dress in every size. Some of them come in several sizes, and some of 'em don't. The ones that lace up the back can sort of be made to fit even if they are smaller because you can lace them looser- the thing is, you end up with flesh squeezed out between satin ribbons criss-crossing your back, and when you turn around and see that as the back of your dress, even though you *know* it won't look like that in your size, it's just really hard to say, "Yeah, I love this!" Worse yet, is when it's a zip up dress, and it's too small to zip, so they manage to fasten it in the back with a piece of elastic or something, so you can get the idea- but again, you turn to see the back, and what you get is a nasty piece of elastic, pins, a flash of your underwear that isn't quite bridal, and your love-handle, and you just don't feel the sexy. It just makes it hard to like the dress. Alas, the dress that I am mostly in love with was one that the lady just stood behind me and held tight, because it was so small, she could neither bind it, nor clamp it, nor elasticize it. The result is that we're not actually fully aware of what the back looks like- and therefore we're already planning a trip back to that shop. :)

After that shop, it was near/past 4:00- and we'd left the house that morning at 9- so we were all beat. Driving home we talked very little- as far as I'm concerned, just because we were exhausted. And as soon as we got home, I crawled into bed under the pretense of reading, but really to take a nap. :) Said nap is probably the reason I'm feeling wide awake at nearly 1am just now...but what can you do? I needed it!

So, that's it; my wedding gown shopping experiences. It stinks a bit to have to hurry through these trying-on sessions and choosing, but that is what I get for living in Africa. Ah well, I suppose the sooner the decision is made, the less time I have to stress about it.

Now, if we can only figure out what Joel is going to wear... :)