We need a baby Joel picture! :)

Can I just say again...I can't wait to see what she looks like as a toddler. I don't need her to look like me. I mean, I like that we're obviously similar, but, I won't be sad if she keeps looking more and more like Joel (as she seems to be doing). I just love being able to look at her and see that she is so very clearly the result of myself and Joel coming together. What a little love child. :)

Beni = Mara + a little bit of Joel!

So, of course it's really Mara + Joel = Beni, but, I'm talking looks here. I think if you look at these pictures of us, you can see that Beni essentially looks just like me as a baby, except for that she doesn't- which is clearly the influence of Joel in her looks. Right? Do I make sense? I really look forward to seeing what she looks like as a toddler. :)

And here are some pictures of my strong little girl... she loves standing these days! And at this point she can do it just holding on to someone's hands- that is without her body being supported.

What a cutie!

Where has the time gone? 4 months old!

Beni is 4 months old! When did that happen? It's crazy- we were recalling just a few weeks ago, when we spent our first full weekend in Luanda, that it was the anniversary of finding out I was pregnant. That day, waking up that morning thinking that I could possibly take a test that day... it all seems a lifetime ago! And lookit where we are now... this beautiful baby to show for it all. :) Doesn't get much better.

Beni is definitely, definitely teething. I know I mentioned this before, but, it is just so apparent. I can't figure out though, where a tooth might be moving. I've stuck my finger in her mouth several times to see if I can feel any bumps, and to let her gnaw on my finger- and I can't feel anything yet. But she's been double fisting these last few days... sticking fingers from both of her hands in her mouth and gnawing on them. It almost seems like her gums are bothering her more on the side- but aren't the front teeth usually the ones that come in first? Well, anyway... like I said before, I'm actually still holding out hope that she might just go on teething like this for like 3 or 4 more months without actually breaking any teeth. A mother can hope.

So what else... have I told you all what a great sleeper Beni is? Well, in case I haven't... she's wonderful! Daytime naps aren't
necessarily her strong suit, but nighttime man, that is NO PROBLEM. This child sleeps like she was born to do it. These days we've actually worked on establishing a bed time, which is around 9. We change into pjs and a nighttime diaper. Some night she has a bath, but not that many. We're pretty lazy about that. She'll have such a strong immune system, right? Anyway... so once she's dressed for bed, then we get in bed and read our bedtime book. It's a little board book I picked up at Meijer on a whim once, but I really like it. It's got lovely illustrations, and the overall message is to not be afraid
of the dark because darkness is the blanket that helps the earth to sleep. Then it just goes on to say that it's time to close your eyes and go to sleep and that I will stay and watch (or nurse) a while until you're sound asleep. It also has some text about knowing that I will always be nearby at night and most of all- I'll see you in the morning. I think that is what the book is actually called. Anyway, for a book that I just picked up on a whim while still pregnant, I really love it. Beni really enjoys the nighttime reading too. She coos and squeals at the pictures and reaches for the book
as well. Then after we read the book, she nurses and I read until she's asleep. Finally, she's asleep, and I get up and come out here, to my computer (more often than not!). And then, Beni sleeps- until about midnight or one, when she starts to snuffle about looking for a midnight snack. That is usually when I come to bed. Then, she sleeps again- she doesn't cry, she doesn't wake up, she doesn't well...anything....she just goes back to sleep. :) And then we sleep- until she gets hungry again. I don't even know when exactly that usually is because I'm mostly half asleep, just
get in position and go back to sleep while she eats. It's just the most natural and EASY thing ever. Then we repeat this until morning. Joel gets up at 6, and gives us a kiss goodbye when he leaves at 7. We don't get up then though, because we like to sleep! Beni sleeps. She sleeps well! This morning she woke up for a little while around 8:30, but we lounged about in bed talking and what not, and then she fell back asleep and we slept til 11! Usually Beni doesn't wake until around 9:30 or 10 though. So, like mother, like daughter we sleep. What do you think is the chance of getting a second child that will sleep this well? ;)

You know what else just happened that comes with the number 4? Actually, the day might be tomorrow or the next day... Joel and I have been together for 4 years! That time has also flown by. For me it seems like it's been forever, if it's been a day. If getting that positive pregnancy test seems long ago, then the time 4 years ago when we got together really seems like ancient history. But it's nice to walk down memory lane... :)

P.S. This is what happens when you format all pictures to the right. ???? I don't know. Mook, maybe I should just claim sudden creativity. Ha ha.

Enough already!

I am so, so, so sick of bugs in my house! :( Sad, slow tears run down my face.... ok, not really, but I really am sitting here with a definite mope on my face (can you even say that?) at the thought of how sick I am of bugs!

I don't know what is going on in our building, but apparently, everyone from our school is over-run with cockroaches. I love Joel, but have you ever seen the couch and the floor around his feet after he eats chips? Yeah...so, I thought that maybe those last few months he had in Angola without the maid and me were to blame...but, apparently it is not his fault. Sorry for doubting you, Joely.

I swear I am not being a baby about this. It's like, 50% of the time that you open a drawer or a cupboard, or move a shoe on the floor or a jar on the counter, or when you go to PUT THE BABY DOWN ON THE FLOOR- there's a freaking roach! We've been fighting them since the day we got back, when I came in, saw a million in every direction, had a break down, said I wanted to leave, and started cleaning.

There are fewer around now, but, they are still everywhere. And the worst part is that you see big ones now and then, but you see the little baby ones ALL THE TIME. Which means there are like nests or something just spitting out more and more cockroaches all the time. IN MY HOUSE.

I read something somewhere the other day that was something along the lines of, "Have you ever watched a roach die from being sprayed? They die a physiological death- don't use these chemicals in your home! Imagine what they are doing to you... " To the person who wrote this... I only have to ask... have you ever LIVED with roaches in your home at every freaking turn??? There is no way to get rid of them! You have to kill them like that, because they don't die from anything else!!!

The worst part is that right now, if it's not a roach, then it's an ant or a mosquito. It's to the point where I feel like I have bugs crawling on me all the time. And then of course, we did have some bug in bed, which covered my legs with little red bites, and got Beni's face twice. It's just, just... enough already!!!!! :(

How about short, quick posts more often?

Remember this picture? Of course you do, you just saw it yesterday. Well, it sets the scene pretty well for today. Beni was sitting in her Bumbo on the table while I was making my lunch. I had my back to her for ONE SECOND when she started shrieking the horrible sound of a cry that means ACTUAL PAIN. I turn horrified to see her clawing her own face with her left hand. I dropped what was in my hands, and pried her hand off her face, but not before noticing that she appeared to have one of her fingers quite nicely lodged between her lower eyelid and her eyeball. (D, I know your belly button issues are bad, but can you imagine? Your finger **IN** your eye???)

So, it took me a good half hour to calm her down. Nursing finally did the trick. There was no blood. There was no...nothing. I can't for the life of me figure out what she was doing, or why she decided to try to make herself a cyclops. Her eye was still puffy tonight when I put her down, but she seemed fine. She did have one giant eye-booger come out shortly before bed, but other than that, nothing. I just...well...who knows. I just don't get it. The dramatic life of a new mom, I guess.

At least she still has both eyes.

Finally...an update....

I don't know...I guess I have some stuff to say. We've been back in Angola for almost two weeks now. Beni has *just* started to settle into some kind of a routine- but is still changing something up every day. I'm ok with that- I don't expect her to stick to a real schedule. Ask Joel, goodness knows I can barely stick to one myself (specifically, ask him what time we eat dinner. Ha ha ha...ranges anywhere from 7-9!). Anyway...so, yeah, I'm not expecting her to keep a schedule.

Of course, the difficulty arises in that when she doesn't keep a schedule, it is very hard for me to get things done. I had big ideas about setting a schedule for myself (which Joel fully supported!) about housework and exercise and cooking. So far, in these two weeks, I have come no where close to it! I haven't exercised once- although that is also because my chosen way to exercise (with the Wii) was taken away from me, when the power cord for it got fried the instant we plugged it in. We're waiting on a new one. Housework I have done here and there when I can. We bought a vacuum, and I do that every day. I have to. Can I just add in right here and say that if I ever get to CHOOSE, I will NEVER have white tile floors!!! NEVER! You can't even drip a drop of water on the floor while cleaning your vegetables for dinner without your floor turning into a dirty mess. It sucks. So, needless to say, I have mopped about every other day as well. Sigh. Stupid white floors.

Diapers have to get washed, and they do, and I keep up on other laundry too. For some reason, laundry seems very easy to me- I don't get why people don't have time for laundry and are always behind. It takes two seconds to put in a load, or put it in the dryer. Ok the folding takes longer, but, even I, with the baby, can get it done somehow. Anyway...

You all (who is you all? Does anyone even look here anymore since I so rarely post?) don't want to hear about me- you want to hear about the beautiful baby we're rearing!

Well, I'll tell you-

-she is such a drooler. She is definitely pre-teething. I'm super hoping we don't actually see any teeth for months and months, but, she's got all the signs of *something* going on under the surface- excessive drool, crankiness, rubbing on her ear, etc, etc. Oh, hello, of course, how could I forget, she also is constantly chewing/gumming on her hands if not whatever else she can get her hands on. She has hit the stage where if it gets into her hands, it goes straight into her mouth. She is such a BABY now! (As opposed to before when she was just a lump that I birthed, you know?)

-She recognizes her dad (of course) and always has a HUGE smile for him when he comes home from work for lunch or after work. It's very cute.

-She is so loud now! She is always talking. The noises she makes are quite funny sometimes- lots of guttural, groaning kind of stuff, lots of squealing and cooing and she often blows raspberries into thin air. That is always funny. :)

-She likes to get down on the floor now- I hardly even think of it as "tummy time" anymore. Tummy time implies that we are training her to spend time on her tummy. These days, she enjoys it, and does it willingly. I don't know how she does it, but she manages to scoot around a little when she is on the floor. You don't see it happen, but then all of a sudden, she's facing the opposite way of where she was before, or is a foot closer to the edge of the carpet. It can kind of freak me out!

-She is still just such an amazing little being. I love being her mom. I absolutely adore parenting her. I still am the happiest breast-feeding, cloth-diapering, baby-wearing, co-sleeping mamma out there. Well, one of em anyway. :) When we go to school sometimes- to visit Joel at the end of the day, anyone who sees me and thinks to talk to me, ends up commenting at some point, "Goodness, you really are happy to be a mom aren't you?" Apparently, it just shines through. People ask me if I miss work, or if I'm keeping busy at home and enjoying my time at home, and generally, they end up just answering their own question by saying something like, "Why am I even asking...look at you!" I am very happy- I love being a mom, I love that it's how I spend my days. I can't imagine leaving Beni to be taken care of by someone else...I never dreamed I would be able to afford to me a stay at home mom- but now that I am here, I can't imagine being anywhere else. I just keep thinking, "if it's a job someone has to do- why not me?" I'm pretty sure I'm the best person for it. :)

So anyway.... that's us. Joel is back at work, and I believe he's doing well. I know that in the last few days, he's gotten to sub in a few PE classes and that he has really enjoyed doing that. I really hope for him that he can get a PE position wherever we teach next!

Can you believe that Beni will be 4 months old in less than a week?? Time flies when you're having fun!!!














By the way...I have no idea what is going on with the formatting here. Pictures here, there and everywhere! Whatever! Deal!