Adjusting...

All my life, until age 23, I cleaned for myself. Ok, there were probably a few years in the beginning that I was pretty well taken care of as well, but, I have pretty early memories of cleaning up my own room, helping with the dishes, and doing other chores around the house. I can even remember when I was in primary school that one of my friends would periodically get kicked out of her room so that her mom could clean it. I thought that was pretty amazing, because, my mom was definitely NOT cleaning my room!

I don't think this is or was a bad thing. I learned how to do things that other people don't until much later (I always find it so surprising to meet someone over the age of like 10, who doesn't know how to use the washer/dryer)- and I suppose to some extent, I learned not to rely on anyone else for a certain level of cleanliness.

Now, this is not to say that I always was, or am today, the cleanest person. Oh no. Not at all. I very much have always had my own acceptable level of clean, which often varies, and which I set a completely arbitrary (that is, not at all fixed) cleaning schedule by. I also have certain cleaning jobs that I hate more than others, which of course means, certain jobs don't get done as often.

Generally speaking though, I think I could classify myself as a fairly tidy and clean person. I don't mind a bit of mess, or a bit of dust- but I can't really handle utter chaos or filth.

So then, at age 23, I suddenly found myself with a maid! A maid that pretty much took care of the big stuff. I think it took me a little while to get used to the maid. I mean- who wants someone else to have to not only see, but actually clean up the mess they left behind? I can't really remember a time line on this- frankly it was 7 years ago, and I'm pregnant so mostly I can't remember what happened yesterday, but, I got used to the maid. For two years I basked in the glory of continuing to be a tidy person, but, also, having the sheets changed once a week, having the floors be clean every day, having the dishes washed every day, having the bathroom be cleaned (however often she did it), etc, etc.

I never got to the point that some of my Shanghai friends did- we're talking having a party on Friday or Saturday night and leaving the ENTIRE MESS (bottles, crumbs, dishes, broken shit, I mean EVERYTHING) until MONDAY for the maid to clean up. That crossed a line for me...but, I still enjoyed the work my maid did for me.

And then, I moved to Latvia and didn't have a maid anymore. Maybe it was because I was in a new place, with no prior experience of being cleaned for in that space, but, it seems like I adjusted just fine. Aside from washing the floors (I think in one apt I didn't wash the so ugly you couldn't see it was dirty kitchen floor for an entire year except for spot cleaning when I spilled something), I kept up with keeping the house clean- I washed dishes, did laundry, changed the sheets, cleaned the bathroom, etc, etc. When Joel and I joined forces it took a while, but we eventually found our equilibrium too, where we both did our share, and kept the house clean and tidy (I know he'll say that my stuff was always everywhere, but frankly, I just had more stuff!).

So then, off we go to Angola, and boom, we have a maid again. This time, she comes 5 days a week, does EVERYTHING, and we don't even have to pay her! Ha! We both got really used to it again very quickly.

So now, here I am, home in the US and there is no maid (meanwhile, Joel is by himself in Angola, and still has a maid). Now, it's not *my house* either- that is, I'm not responsible for the entire living space- but, there is my bedroom, my bathroom, and of course the communal areas like the kitchen that I use regularly.

And so the thing that strikes me is this. It is so easy to get used to having someone else take care of stuff. I mean, you go to work in the morning leaving your dishes from dinner and breakfast in the sink, the crumbs from a late night snack on the floor of the living room (ahem, Joel), the sink with toothpaste down the side and whatever else...and you get home, and "Ah," big sigh, it's all cleaned up. :) You get used to it REALLY QUICKLY.

Now, I've been living in my mom's house for 5 full weeks. And last week, or the week before, I observed myself noticing that my bathroom sink was yucky, and the shower was full of hair and other debris... and day after day it was just... STILL THERE. The garbage can in the bathroom was filling up, and day after day after day after day...it was just still there!!!

Lord it finally hit me like a ton a bricks... *I* have to clean it!

I cleaned it all up today, and it was really no big deal, and I got it done in 15 minutes or whatever, and I didn't die. So, don't get me wrong, I'm really not complaining. My bedroom doesn't even need to be cleaned because I just keep it clean- dirty clothes go in the clothes basket, clean clothes get hung up right away, bed gets made every morning- it's just clean.

But, the thing is... why can you adjust to quickly and easily to having someone clean up for you...but then, when you get into a situation where you KNOW there is no one to clean up after you- it still takes weeks for the fact to sink in? It just this adjusting that I'm wondering about... like geez... why can it be so easy in one direction, and so hard in the other?

Next year, in an attempt to make up for my lack of salary, we will hold on to the allowance we receive from the school to hire a maid, and will not have a maid. But, this of course means that, being the stay at home mom, the brunt of cleaning will fall to me. I'm hoping that we might return to our previous arrangement of me cooking dinner, and Joel cleaning up/doing the dishes afterward- but otherwise, yeah, it'll be me. So, now, I'm just wondering how long it's going to take me (especially new baby in tow) to adjust to doing all of that. Hopefully, not as long as it took me to clean my bathroom here. :)