10 years...

I've seen quite a few posts on some of my favorite blogs looking back on the last 10 years as we head into the new decade here. Of course, they have made me think about how my life has changed and moved forward in ten years as well...

I rang in the year 2000 pretty miserably. I was part of a group of young people that organized a big ole party, which was fun, but, I had spent the last 4 months of 1999 getting over a guy I broke up with... and then he was there, at the party. On the 30th our romance seemed to have rekindled, but, on the 31st he wanted nothing to do with me, and somehow we managed to have a big fight right at about 11:58pm, so that when I walked back into the main party area just for midnight I was basically in tears and hating life as I looked around at all my friends kissing their boyfriends and having a good time. It wasn't a very good start to the millennium.

I did eventually get over him though, and the year 2000 was a pretty good year. I finished my second year of university and started my third. This was the hardest time I ever had in my friendship with one of my besties AS, but thankfully we got through it.

2001 brought my 21st birthday- oh what a party. And it also brought my first substantial amount of time spent living abroad. I studied in France that summer. I totally fell in love with the French way of life, the language, and of course, my host brother. :) I extended my stay that summer by two weeks by hooking up with another course mate who was staying on with her parents for two weeks. So, we traveled around and got to see more of the countryside. I pretty much came home kicking and screaming that time... I DID NOT want to leave. I'm thinking that this was the time, as I headed into my 4th year of university that I really started seeing teaching abroad as a possibility. I didn't know anything about how it worked just yet, but, I was ready to do anything I had to to get back to France. :)

2002... How is it possible that the years get so mixed up? This must have been the year that my friend KS and I cemented our rekindled friendship (we knew each other from high school and had hooked back up in 2001), and moved into the Burr Oak house. All of these years (the early 2000s) were tough ones friendship wise for me... if I wasn't struggling with one friend it was another. I think this was the year AW and I had issues. I was dating TK at this time, and lost myself in him in a bad, bad way. DB got married that year, and I started freaking out about still being single with no REAL prospects.

In 2003 my life turned upside down! I graduated from university, and even at the height of the SARS ridiculousness (the US gov knows how to make everything look so much worse than it is), signed a contract to move to China for my first teaching job. I packed up all of my things, left my family and friends and struck out on my own. The last 4 months of 2003 were probably the toughest of my life to date. Adjusting to life in China, without any normal support networks, without my friends, trying to make new friends, desperately seeking a man... and endlessly struggling with my weight... not to mention, being a first year teacher!!! Whew! It was ROUGH. I came home in December twice that year- first for AS's wedding, which was fabulous, and then two weeks later, for winter break.

2004 started off with my still in the States and not at all wanting to go back to China. I was done with that place! When my mom took me to the airport, she literally had to push me through the security gate as I wept. It was the hardest thing ever to make myself go back. But I did. I cried a lot when I got there (like a full 24 hours!), and then I went back to work, and I learned to love my life in China. I started going to yoga 4-6 days a week, I went out on the weekends with friends and partied hard, I lost a ton of weight, I enjoyed the crap out of cheap massages, and I believe this is also when I started cooking and baking for fun. Eventually that year I met HG, and although for the most part he was a dark spot in my life, I sure did enjoy him then.

In 2005 I ended my time in China, and not knowing where else to go, but not really wanting to come home, I headed to Latvia. Of course, I did come home that summer, and had the honor of being maid of honor at AW's wedding. I brought HG to meet my family and friends, and though no one really said it to my face, everyone was relieved when we finally broke up for good later that year. It was like a "Thank God THAT didn't work out!" So I learned to live in Latvia- not quite as hard as adjusting to China, but so very hard in different ways. The thing was, it was supposed to be easy- everyone, including myself, thought it would be a piece of cake compared to China...but it wasn't. Just knowing how to speak a language does not make you fit right in- the cultural adjustment was huge- Latvia was nothing like America (not that I expected it to be) or Latvian American society- and yet it wasn't as foreign as China either. It was another tough adjustment period, especially between hating the horrible little apartment I lived in at first, and not having a very easy time of making friends (thank goodness for DC and LC!).

In 2006 DB moved to Latvia, and she and I had a great couple of months together. I believe it was January 2006 that I laid eyes on Joel for the first time, and said the "If he's single, HIRE HIM!" line to the HR person at school. :) Between Joel coming back into my life in August though, I had one more relationship- the most classic rebound relationship I've ever had (I was still working on getting over HG). It started, continued intensely, and then ended with one short conversation. And when it was over, it was so over that it was almost like it had never happened. Funny. August came, and the start of the new school year, and Joel and I started dating within a week of the beginning of the school year. The rest is history, right? :) Either 2005 or 2006 was the year that I started therapy though- a big move for me. It takes a lot to get over all the judgment that people have around therapy, and just do it. It was a good move for me. Between all my issues (I'll spare you listing them) it was good to have someone to talk to about it all.

In 2007 the biggest things that happened were moving in with Joel (he was the first and only man I ever lived with!), and starting my masters. That summer Joel took me to Venice for my birthday, and then I headed off to Madrid. What a fun, intense summer! I loved so many of the people I met that summer, had the crazy adventures with the landlady- and most importantly realized what it felt like to miss someone (Joel), but at the same time know that it really was ok to be apart for a while. In fact, I realized that not only was it ok, but I knew how to have fun and be fully functioning and everything without him. I guess this might sound a little silly to some of you, but the codependency I'd thrived on for years in relationships was gone with Joel and it was an amazing freedom for me.

2008 was another year of big changes... Joel and I got engaged, and decided to move to Angola! I still struggled a lot with personal issues, and continued/restarted therapy (with a different therapist). Joel and I both spent time adjusting to life in Angola, our new jobs and living together in a new space. That Christmas I made my first trip (of what I know will be many) to Australia. I finally met Joel's family in full, as well as put lots of names of friends with faces.

2009 of course took us out with a bang! We got married, and we got pregnant! Everything else that happened last year kind of seems to blend into the background of not really mattering (like work sucked for me, ah well...) because of how good the good things were. :)

Looking back on these years as a whole, they were tough years...it was a tough decade! It was my 20s! I've mostly heard that that's just how your 20s are... there were lots of ups and downs. What strikes me is just how roller-coaster-y it all was. The highs were high- France, the good times in China and Latvia, meeting/becoming engaged to/marrying Joel, getting pregnant- but the lows were so low. The struggles with my weight, my whole inner being, etc, the fight against depression, bad relationships- it all leaves quite a bleak smear on the decade. But, I guess the good thing is that ushering in the year 2000 was the polar opposite of ushering in the year 2010- that years anger and loneliness stands in stark opposition to this years love, family, togetherness and all over goodness.

Let's hope that if the beginning of 2000 had anything to do with the way the 2000s went, then the beginning of 2010 also sets the tone for next 10 years. I have a feeling it's gonna be good. :)