A day with my goddaughter

Yesterday Joel and I drove up to Ainazi to visit with my family, and especially my goddaughter. She is 1 and a half, and very cute. She's not talking yet, but makes a LOT of "Oooohhh" noises all the time.

Yesterday her favorite thing to do was to point at Joel and "Ooooh". :) She was also making eye contact with him a lot, but then lowering her face but keeping her eyes on him. It was funny. She took to me a bit easier than to him (although, actually, in the last year, she's only seen both of us twice).

Here are some family pictures too...



(Sorry this last one is so blurry...we didn't realize...)

It was a very nice day spent with family yesterday... Hopefully I'll get to see my goddaughter again soon! :)

And for the grand finale...here are some videos! :)

Happy Holidays!

What would the word be if you mashed together Solstice and Christmas? Christice? Solmas? Hee hee...I kind of like Solmas...it sounds like a delicious Greek dish... :)

Anyway, round these parts we more or less celebrated Ziemassvetki (Winter holiday) than anything else. Some combination of old Latvian traditions, mixed with the undeniable Christian influence is definitely what we end up with.

Either way, it was a very nice time. It's been two years since I was with my family for a holiday, and I felt that acutely this year. On the morning of the 24th as Joel and I prepped to get out the door I found myself in tears about being with a makeshift family again. Don't get me wrong. I LOVE Joel's family. They are all very cool people, whom I admire and appreciate greatly...but you can't replace your own family. There is something about being with "your own people" that just cannot be substituted no matter how much your own people might annoy the piss out of you when you're together! :)

Anyway, so, Joel and I headed out to Kugures, Joel's sister-in-law's family country house. It was icy on the roads, but no snow. It would have been nice had the sun made an appearance, but the thick layer of clouds took care of that.

When we got to the house, Joel's brother and nephews were just getting ready to go cut down a tree. Did you know that actually Latvian law says that every Latvian family has a right to cut down any one tree from any Latvian forest for Christmas? Yeah, I just learned that this year. Interesting huh? Anyway...so the boys went and got the tree, and Marianna and I stayed home and chatted.

Decorating the tree and cooking food was pretty much what the rest of the day was about. Here's a picture of me, Marianna's mom and Marianna in the kitchen deep in conversation during food prep.

Here is a picture of the oldest nephew Tiss, in front of the tree.
And there is the tree in all its glory. It was a big one, but it fit perfectly. It did not have any electric lights, but instead had one real candle on it for each person that was there celebrating together. It was really very lovely.

And here, just because I like photos of kids, is a picture of the youngest nephew Mikus, taking a picture of Joel taking a picture. :) He took lots of pictures that day. He went around and made sure he got one of everyone. Most of us made sure to kneel down for his pictures, so he could get us in the frame, but sometimes someone wasn't fast enough or something, and from what I understand, there were quite a few crotch shots taken as well. :) Hee hee.


You may ask, but where is the picture of you and Joel? Well, this is an issue that Joel and I seem to be having lately. No pictures of us. I'm not a big photo taker anyway. Actually, I don't even know where my camera is. So I usually rely on Joel to take the photos, and that usually works out just fine. For some reason it hasn't worked out well for pictures of us at any recent event (Solmas -oh yes, I'm going to start using the term now!, Istanbul...I'm sure there are others...). Anyway...so I have no more to show.

But, I can report that the gift giving was great this year. I think that last year Joel and I were still too close to the beginning of our relationship to REALLY know what to get each other (well, except my happy light, Joel did good on that!). Anyway, this year we talked enough about it, and I suppose know each other well enough to come up with some good pressies. I made out like a bandit with a new cast iron skillet, some ramekins, a new sweatshirt and a beautiful pair of earrings - all from my very attentive and wonderful boyfriend. There was also a very cool little chest of drawers, some nice candles, a great book, a dvd and more from others. Joel didn't do too bad either I would say...I got him a subscription to an Australian sports magazine, a book he's wanted for a long time, some very nice new socks (which he both wanted and needed!) and a nice manly face lotion, so that he can stop using mine. :) He was most excited about his Geelong Cats dvd set from the previous winning season. Ah well. There was no way I could top that. :)

Christmas day was spent in pajamas...on the couch...stoking the fire...playing games (both with kids and just the adults)... it was good. Very relaxing. I tell you the only thing that makes me not want to stay in the country longer is the lack of clean running water and the opportunity to take a shower! :)

Now we're back in town, just chilling... savoring the rest of our break...we still have a while! :)

That's it for now...

A letter to the Sun

Dear Sun,

I miss you. I miss you very, very much.

I know that technically, you'll be showing more of yourself very soon, but I have to tell you it's getting very hard to wait. I'm having trouble being nice to people, period. I'm having trouble getting out of bed, or not falling asleep mid-day. I'm having trouble doing much of anything to tell the truth, and it's all because I miss the shit out of you!!!

Letters from other people might be coming through right now asking Snow to show up instead of Sun...do not be fooled... they really mean you, Sun. Everyone will be happier if you show up. I swear.

Thanks for taking notice.

Hope to see you soon.

Your devoted worshipper,

Mara

Confusing times I live in...

Now I know that there are lots of women out there who have written about this before me...and they probably had more education and research and goodness knows what else behind them. For me, I can only write about my personal experience... so here goes...

My biological clock is doing me in. DOING. ME. IN.

I am a relatively sane person. I function in the world mostly with ease. I have a job. I can pay my bills. And I can do all of this by honest means...I don't have to lie or trick or evade or avoid. I mean, I'm doing ok, right?

Except, there comes this time every month when something else inside takes over. A powerful part indeed that makes me want to do things that are not so honest, that are more than a bit sneaky...things that involve feeding someone in particular alcohol, and poking holes in certain somethings, all to get the job done. This is not me. I swear.

But it gets worse when, up until and including now, none of my trickery (ok, I haven't actually gone very far on anything- no holes poked yet) works...and there comes another time of the month.

A few days ago I went into a restaurant bathroom post meal. While I was there I discovered that much to my disappointment, this month would be no different than any others. I came out of the bathroom nearly in tears. DS literally put her arm around me and said something along the lines of, "Don't cry. Just because it's not this month, doesn't mean that it's never."

I'm not sure...but feeling this way makes me feel like a bit of a freak...and God knows Joel thinks so. Is it normal that in my position (unmarried, although committed, only somewhat financially stable- however deeply sure about Joel) I would get so upset about something that would have only happened by "accident" anyway?

It only makes it worse that there are plenty of people out there who know me, who tell me what feels like all the time that I should just go ahead and have a baby. Or even worse, ANYONE who sees me with a baby just throws out these comments like, "Wow, you look so natural that way." or "That really suits you!" I KNOW PEOPLE. It also feels like the most natural thing in the world for me...and I swear, I feel like I am going to turn into a baby-snatcher soon. Some of our friends here just had a baby, and I missed the chance to see her last week, but maybe that's for the best, because maybe I would have turned psycho and tried to run away with her.

Ah, I sound crazy. I'm sure I do. And you can make fun of me if you want, say that I'm getting clucky, or nesting or whatever...but the jokes on you, cause I've been this way for YEARS. This is nothing new. It's just getting worse.

So I continue to wait...wait for the right time...or for when a little soul determines it is the right time... And my biological clock continues to TICK, TICK, TICK so very loudly in my head...

But that then brings me to the next point...and it's about waiting. It's about following old, old traditions that I am not sure still fit today.

I'm talking about marriage people, and how we get there. I'm talking about a couple (um, us?) mutually agreeing that they "know" about each other...and then the woman (me!) getting left in the dark waiting anyway. I know that it used to be very different, and the rituals that surround proposals and engagements all had practical purpose before (I mean, if my dad was giving away a daughter, then he would need at least what, 10 cows to replace her?). These days however, my dad has nothing to do with my engagement (other than that I hope I would have his blessing of course). But mostly, it's not going to affect "the work that gets done on the farm" or his financial stability (unless I expected him to pay for a wedding, which I don't). Anyway, the point is that long ago, marriages and such actually literally affected more than just the couple getting married in a very real way. These days, I'm not sure they do. Yes, it still affects family and stuff, but, it's not life and death for anyone.

I think, if I remember correctly, my sister-in-law, awesome woman that she is, proposed to my brother. A few weeks ago Joel's mum actually mentioned to me that February 29th is the day when it is ok for a woman to propose to a man, AND that February 29th will occur in just a few short months for the first time in 4 years.

Ah, but I've also talked to Joel about all of this. It seems that maybe, he has some sort of plan. He definitely wants me to shut up about it. And it seems he doesn't want me to propose to him (sorry Maria, as I was starting to hatch my own plan...).

Anyway, the whole point, the issue that I have with all of this, is that I feel like I am really ready for all of this, and that I am suspending it happening just to fit into these old, old traditions, that like I said, I'm not sure are right for today's world.

So....it's confusing times I live in. I'm happy enough. I have a great relationship, I have a job that I mostly love (this year might be a little exception), I have friends, and activities and ways I like to spend my time...

As for goals in life, I'm pursuing higher education, I'm furthering my career which I am really proud of. I'll certainly be the first person in my family unit to get a master's degree, and I think that is awesome. I enjoy my work, and I look forward to making a difference in the lives of all the little random children who come through my classroom...but what I really feel like doing is getting a little barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen. I just want to have babies, and raise them, and be at home and then, when they're all grown up, or in school at least, go back to teaching, at least subbing.

This is I guess the new age-old question for women... family or career... how do you balance them, or choose one over the other, or one before the other? I guess for now, the choice is being made for me...in light of there being no family, or marriage or anything else, I'm doing the career thing now. I guess I don't mind....but you just watch me drop it ALL like a hot potato the minute I find out I'm expecting. Just watch!

So much to say...

And so little time to say it...

I'm in a bit of a rush today...gotta get some things done, but I have to say this:

The pink scarf for my goddaughter is unraveled, re-knit and done. I still think it's a tad too wide and a bit too short, but, like I said before...oh well.

My own multi-colored scarf is also done. It is great. :) I might just have to wear it today! :)

I have started a new project now, and it's also made of baby yarn...but I can't say too much because I know a few pregnant people right now, and it's for one of them. I'm working on it though. And it should be done in time for baby's arrival to this big world.

On a very positive knitting note, yesterday I was able to start my new project all by myself (means I have offficially learned how to do it without help), my knitting teacher reminded me how to finish a scarf with my multi-colored one, and then I was able to finish the pink one all by myself, and the best news of all, is that even after all that knitting last night, my hands didn't hurt! I guess I have finally gotten them used to it! :) Whoohoo!!!

Ok...really gotta run, but the other thing I have to say is:

SCHOOL'S OUT FOR WINTER BREAK!!!! WWHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :) (I'm just a little bit excited about that. :))

Fallen

I've fallen... (read on to find out how...)

...prey to local fashion.

I have lived in Latvia for about two and a half years. A couple weeks ago I bought a pair of shoes in Latvia for the first time ever. Why? Because I had no winter-y heels, and I needed some for the holiday season. The pair I bought were cute and probably on par with what you might find in a shoe shop elsewhere in the world and classified as "cool" right now.

Today though, after what feels like years of searching, I fell prey to the pointy-toe boot. Latvian girls don't wear any other kind of toe, unless you count the rounded pointy toe that has now become popular in the cowboy boot style of high heeled black boots. There are no high heeled black boots with square toes in Latvia (except that ONE pair that I found in my first spring here...but I swear that was a fluke, because I have NEVER seen another pair remotely like it). Anyway...that pair I bought two years ago is well worn out... and I have been madly searching for a new pair all autumn/winter. Well today, I saw this pair that has a pointy square toe (close?)...it was in my size, made of materials other than leather, and only 13Ls ($26 USD), and the last pair of its kind. I snatched em up, and then died a little on the inside. I was sad that I couldn't hold on to my morals and principles until March when I get to the States and could buy another pair of square toed black high heeled boots. I have fallen prey.

...into the Christmas spirit.

I made Joel buy me this little tiny potted Christmas tree a few weeks ago. It's decorated as always with ladybugs, silver balls and white lights. :) I'm just sad that I don't have any presents to put under it yet. Just as well, because the cat would probably bat them around and off the windowsill if they were there! If you look closely, you can see that instead of a tree skirt I have wrapped the bottom of our tree in aluminum foil, because it's the only thing that will keep Bumbi out of the soil. Ah well...it kind of matches the silver balls. :) I can't wait until Thursday when we will have our class holiday party at school, and then call it quits for 2 1/2 weeks. I'm very much looking forward to sleeping in, days without kids, going out to the country with Joel's family for Christmas, spending Boxing day with friends from school, and before all of that, finishing up the Christmas shopping. :)

...into a severe addiction.

Knitting has become a serious new hobby of mine. Above is pictures the scarf I knit for my goddaughter for Christmas. It might be a little wide, and possibly just a tad too short...but since it's only my third attempt at knitting ever, (and since she's two) I think she (and her parents) will forgive me. I started this scarf on Thursday. I finished this scarf on Saturday. This scarf used three skeins of special baby yarn. That's a lot of knitting for my hands in three days. I am improving leaps and bounds in my knitting... this one stayed at 25 loops the whole way. I did drop two stitches along the way...but this coming Thursday my young and hip knitting teacher will help me unravel to get rid of those holes and re-do it. Next, I will also learn another stitch (because I am still only doing one.) Oh but, why does it matter about this addiction? Well, only because I am pretty sure I might actually be giving myself arthritis with every pearl I do... I tried to pick up my needles this morning while Joel and I were watching a show, and it hurt so much I just had to put them back down again. The multi-colored scarf that I posted about in my last post is almost done...but it looks like getting to the end might take a while. I will keep trying though, oh yes I will. :)


...in love with an amazing man. (and that is what I look like when I'm in love... :) Actually, I want to change my profile picture, and I need to post the new picture before I can change it, but it gives me a good reason to praise Joel.)

I can be a crazy, crazy bat sometimes. REALLY. Something (winter, darkness, overwhelm, PMS...who knows) has gotten into me lately, and I have been picking fights, being unreasonable, and being immensely over-critical of myself in a drag him down kind of way a lot. Through all of this, however, Joel has been cool. Yeah, I've pushed him, even over the edge, and he's lost it...but he always comes back...ready and willing to smooth over whatever is going on. Ready to hold my hand, hug me, offer words of support or whatever I really need, instead of a fight.

Tonight in one of those highly conscious moments that you have sometimes, I realized just how happy I am to have found him. I never did think I would find him...even if I didn't know who he was, when I felt that way. I'm a lucky girl to have this guy in my life. And I can only hope that he feels the same way the next time I go off the deep end with him. :)

So there you go... fallen, in four different ways... some bad, some good. Each an experience. :)

It can only get better...

Last night I learned to finish off a scarf. And then I drank a lot of wine which I am regretting now. But that is another story. The point is, my very first, made with my own hands scarf is now around someone's neck. I'm only going to show it to you around his neck too because it is my first scarf after all, and it's far from perfect. I started the scarf with 40 loops...very soon I was up to 45. Half way through the scarf, I thought, "that's too big" and inquirer and thinker that I am, I figured out on my own how to get it back down to 40. My "knitting teacher" told me I am very smart, because I figured out the right way to do it. I did it way too fast though. So what ended up happening was that the scarf got obviously narrower pretty quickly... so, one end of the scarf is fat and very loosely knit (I was learning!) and the other end is skinnier, and nicer.

But look, in this picture, it just looks warm and nice! :)

And here is a close up. It didn't turn out as long as Joel had said he wanted, but my knitting teacher said it'll stretch, especially considering how loosely it's knit.


And this is my new project, which I already started right away last night! (It'll be for me, and it'll be much narrower to begin with.) I fell in love with the yarn. AND, I was peeing my pants because I found a yarn store in Old Riga, and it is literally just this good sized store that has walls and shelves lined with yarn, yarn and more yarn!!! :) I am such a dork now, but I love it!

Little update...

4 days and 1 skein of yarn later... Joel's scarf is half way done. :) My hands HURT. The second half will commence after a few days rest... as long as I can talk myself into holding off. :)

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

Well, it's all over, and I am feeling very happy. Yesterday was a long, but very good day. We spent most of the day cleaning up the house, then cooking, and finally enjoying an enormous bounty. It was really great. I love playing hostess. I love seeing people having a good time. And I LOVE hearing the oohs and aaahs about my food! Hee hee! It's great! So, here is a picture run down of the day:

DS and KB came over pretty early in the day to start cooking. Primary concern for the lot of them was getting the bird in the oven. I concerned myself with other things. In the following series of pictures we see DS taking a break from food prep to knit (yup, she's the one that got me started, and we are both obsessed now!), while I work on mushrooms for my mushroom gravy and our "foreman" Joel plays cards.
So, here are the three of us:

And here is a closer shot of me and DS. Notice that DS is mostly shaking her head or rolling her eyes at Joel the foreman.

KB was very impressed with the massive amounts of mushies I cut up so he kept taking pictures!

And here is the whole lot of em. They were joined by oil, herbs, milk, flour and sour cream in the pan to create what was, if I don't say so myself, the best gravy I have ever made. :)

Meanwhile, Joel was feeling inferior at his lack of doing anything useful, and tried to act like a thug. Upon seeing the picture he exclaimed, "I'm not looking very thug." I answered, "That's because you are NOT very thug." Ah, but that is why I love him.

KB took a break to take all those pictures, but before that, he was elbow deep in a bird. I didn't try any, but from what I hear the combined forces of KB and DS created a masterpiece bird that was juicy and delicious.

Eventually the rest of the Smedes joined us and as you can see were VERY EXCITED for dinner to be served. (Notice that Matiss does not look at all like Matiss in this picture.)

Now began the mad dashing involved in trying to get all the food onto the table hot when you only have one small oven with only one rack in it (meaning, it could not be used for warming.)

Quick, take the corn!

And the gravy! Take the gravy!

Very important! Jem gets the wine.

Helping out in the end, Joel gets food on the table. His other very serious contribution to the meal was opening the tins of Oceanspray cranberry jelly. You know, the kind that slurps out of the can, and then stays in exactly the same form until you cut it? Yummy!!!

As is pretty normal, dinner took longer than expected to get on the table, and the little ones just couldn't wait any longer. Since they only ate bread and mashed potatoes anyway, Joel served em up while the rest of us got the rest of the food done and warmed up.

And finally, KB carves the bird while the rest of us chomp at the bit to eat. (DS and three more guests who arrived minutes later are unfortunately not in this photo.) Unfortunately because we were all SO hungry, we ate in about 5 minutes flat and then all complained of painfully full bellies. But, the food was great!

After the formal eating in the dining room we had pumpkin pie, carrot cake and brownies all top with whipped cream or ice cream in the living room. By 10:30, or 11 (or what time did you guys leave anyway?) the kids were running wild, desepratly in need of sleep. The adults were all near comatose on the couches or floor. We sent everyone off with leftovers and kept a bunch for ourselves too. Joel and I stepped up the challenge and had the whole house cleaned up, all dishes washed and put away by midnight. It felt great to go to bed with a clean kitchen.

Today, as per my plan I have been on the couch watching bad tv and knitting. My hands kind of hurt (probably a combined effort from knitting and mushroom chopping), but otherwise I have no complaints. Pretty soon it might be dinner time, and all I'll do it warm up some leftovers. Ah...the joys. :)

I hope that wherever you were, and whenever you got to celebrate that you enjoyed your Thanksgiving as much as I did. See you next year! :)

Look what I can do!

No, my name is not Stuart, and I'm not going to do a little dance for you... but, look at what I can do!!! :)


Tonight I had my very first knitting lesson. I have wanted to learn how to knit for a long time actually, and I finally found the right friend to teach me. My friend Diana is being taught by her friend Ilze, so...I joined in the fun, and here we are learning together.

I picked out the yarn today after school with Joel in mind. When I got home and showed him what already existed of his scarf, he was quite pleased. He wasn't all THAT impressed...come on, I will never compare to his amazing mother in this respect! But, it's a new skill for me, and one I have to say I am excited about. I already feel quite confident in what I am doing, and since coming home from Diana's tonight have already fixed one mess up by myself. :) Luckily, since it's the first scarf I am ever making him, he HAS to like it! :)

I'll post a picture of the finished product whenever it appears... hopefully before the end of winter since it's a scarf for Joel...but then again, we have about 5 more months of winter...so I think I have time!!!

Oh, and yes, you might have noticed the paw in the picture. I got one without a paw, but, frankly, since it seems his paws will be around my knitting pretty consistently, I figured I would just go ahead and put in the picture with Bumbi's paw. No, he's not helping. :)

Seriously

Wouldn't life just be better if this was me?:See how the bear is smiling? That is because it's cold and yucky outside and the bear is warm and fat and sleeping through it all. Please let me come back as a bear in my next life...

That said, I want to stay awake through the weekend. In America my relatives will be celebrating a day of thanks on Thursday. I SO wish I could be at my uncle M and aunt L's house for dinner!!! Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday ever. So not because of the fake story about pilgrims and natives (that soooo didn't happen the way they would like us to believe!)....but because I just LOVE the idea of a whole day to give thanks. A day to get together with family and friends, cook together, laugh together, talk, share in life...just BE together! And, all you have to do is eat the bestest foods ever (mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, stuffing, cranberry sauce, vegetable casseroles...oh my!) and you don't have to worry about the pressure of presents. It's the most immaterial holiday there is in my opinion, which makes it the best. I even like Thanksgiving better than my birthday (except that on my birthday Joel takes me to Venice, and for Thanksgiving we're staying home...Venice would be better!).

Anyway... since we all have to work on Thursday we will celebrate Thanksgiving on Saturday. I will start cooking Friday night (we'll see how a pumpkin pie turns out with Latvian pumpkin), and great friends DS and KB will come over early afternoon Saturday to preside over the bird funeral, while I prepare most of the rest of the feast. Joel's family will come for dinner as well bringing even more goodies (very important ones at that...the sweet potatoes!). Dinner will hopefully take hours, the kids will be crazy with boredom trying to drag adults away from the table (and let's be honest, they'll succeed in pulling Joel away for sure), and hopefully all will go home pants unbuttoned. :) Most who know me know that I do not endorse binges these days, but for Thanksgiving I make an exception. Bring it on.

I hope that those of you celebrating on Thursday have a wonderful day full of peace, love and community. To those of you who don't celebrate this day, I invite you to give thanks anyway for all the wonderful people and experiences you have in your life. To those of you coming over on Saturday...bring your appetites!

I've been told it's time to post again...

It's not that I don't have anything to say. Or maybe it is. More likely, it's that I don't really have anything nice to say, and my mom always told me to keep it shut if I didn't. So I haven't blogged in a while.

What's been going on you might wonder? Why haven't I got anything nice to say? Well, it's entered that time of year again that is a challenge for me no matter what way you slice it. It's cold, and it's dark. The leaves are gone. It's not yet snowy (thankfully), but it's not dry either, which means it's rainy. It's that time of year when you just want to warm up by curling up with a mug of hot chocolate, or mulled wine and read a book, or watch movies. When feeling satisfied means eating warm, rich, thick foods. When sleeping 24 hours a day doesn't sound like a bad idea (didn't I say once before that I should have been a bear?!? Hibernation seems like the smartest idea I have ever heard!)

All of this wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't a girl (a grrl? A woman? A womyn?) that dealt with so much other stuff. Eating and sleeping curled up 24 hours a day would be great if it didn't pack on more pounds than my average life already does. Doing all that would be nice if I didn't have to go to work. When it comes down to it, I just don't know how to positively deal with this weather.

I would REALLY like it if someone that knows me really well (like someone who knew me before I moved overseas) would leave a comment vouching for the fact that I have always hated winter (Mom??? Every year when it was Christmas time and time to get together with your relatives, everyone always wanted to meet in Colorado to go skiing, right? Except who? ME! Where did I want to go? California!!! Come on, back me up!!!).

Joel thinks winter is cool. He thinks it's neat. He finds it enjoyable. I say it's because he grew up in Brisbane where it never got below 15C, and he's had enough warmth and sunshine to get him through a few horrible Latvian winters. When my younger brother (whom I owe a huge apology for forgetting his varda diena! Sorry MDP!) was looking at universities, he specifically searched for one in a warm climate, where sunny days exceeded cloudy ones...and he only ever lived in Michigan. Come try Latvia! Michigan winters are enough to depress people, and that is where I spent most of my first 23 years. Then I got two years reprieve in Shanghai, and now I'm here. All I want is a place where the sun shines more than it doesn't. Where summer is enjoyable not because it is so short that you better not blink or even think about not enjoying a moment of it because it'll be gone if you do or don't, but because it just is. Or where, even if I do have to deal with some cold weather and some snow or something, at least it is over in like 4 months, instead of lasting more than half the year. Is it so much to ask? Apparently it is.

There you go...are you feeling glum yet? Or happy that you don't live where I do? Well, in an effort to alleviate some weight, some excess baggage from my life, I finally decided to clean out my closet. Here is what I got rid of:

Now what you need to know is that most of the clothes in those three large garbage bags have not been worn in at least two years. This is only my third year living in Latvia, which means, you guessed it, many of them come to Latvia from China or America. And the reason they haven't been worn? Because too many potatoes and beer don't do a girl good, and they don't fit. They didn't fit when I got here, and more potatoes and depressing winters have only led my body further away from ever fitting into them again.

One might wonder, why have I held onto SO MANY clothes for such a long time? Why have I moved these clothes from apartment to apartment the 5 times I have moved in Riga? Well, I tell you what, it's hard to admit that you might never be a certain size again. It's hard to give up the trousers that made you feel like a million bucks when you fit into them. It's really hard to know that so much money has been spent on clothes that didn't get to wear out, because you just got too big for them...and I'm not talking growing taller.

Today is a sad day as those three bags stare me in the face. I'm trying not to feel like I have given up on ever being fit again. But I know that opening my closet and seeing it so full of clothes that don't fit was only depressing me more than this weather already is. So...out with the old. Hopefully as we approach the new year I'll be in with something new...maybe something better... one can only hope, something smaller.

Speaking of small things. There are lots of good things that come in small-ish packages. This big lug of a cat is one of em.

Bumbulis is an ever present joy in my life. Did I ever write the story of how I almost lost him? It was long and complicated, and for a while we didn't even really know what happened...but turns out somehow he got locked out on the balcony, and he managed to jump or fall off our 4th storey balcony on to the concrete below. Luckily he must have landed mostly on his feet, because he suffered only a large scrape across his face (which took off quite a bit of fur and some whiskers) and a slightly broken lip. But he didn't break any bones or teeth or anything. That was lucky. I'm pretty sure the lady who cleans up around our apartment building saw him fall, and let him back into the building. Although my neighbor almost chased him away, when I got up that morning (it was a Sunday) I heard him outside the front door and let him back in. The poor guy was beat up good...as you would be after falling 4 storeys! He barely moved for the next two days, and I worried a lot about him, but in the end he nursed himself back to health and he is fine now.

His favorite things to do are run around the house like a total loon, swipe at Joel, attack the dooner, sleep on my chest, sleep between Joel and me, and tear holes in his food bag if he decides he's not being fed often enough. The little pig.

But, who can resist a face like this?

That's it from me today. Let's end on a cute note. :)

Istanbul (not Constantinople)

So...we got back on Sunday. It was a good trip. A week away was great. The weather in Istanbul was not THAT great...but it was better than Riga. Although it was sometimes cloudy and rainy, the average temperature was around 20C, so that was nice. Many days it worked out really nicely...it would stay dry while we walked around for most of the day, and then just as we got back to the guest house for siesta it would really pour. Then by dinner time it was dry again!
So, here are a few pictures showing the highlights of the trip. Joel took 200+ pictures, but I just don't have the energy to upload that many...so here is what you get... :)

The group of us

This is me with my friend Tiffany. She lives in Istanbul and teaches at an international school there. We met in Madrid this summer in the masters program. She played a great host to our intimidating group of 9 people! She took us to a spot with a great view (picture coming up) on our first night when this picture was taken. She also took Joel and I out a couple other times. It was great fun, and wonderful to see her again! Thanks Tiff!

This was the view from the terrace of the restaurant where we ate. That is, our table had this view! That is the famous Blue mosque. It is called that because on the inside it has lots of blue tiles. Some also say that from the outside it has a blueish tint.

Opposite the Blue mosque is the Hagia Sophia. It is a cathedral/mosque/museum. It has a long and complicated history which I am not going to get into now. It in my opinion is less impressive from the outside than the Blue mosque, but far more impressive from the inside.

This was a view inside the Hagia Sophia. The mosaics have real gold in them. They were beautiful!

Now all that old stuff was cool, but, the markets, well, they were something else! Here is a pic of me at the Spice Market. Look at all those spices!!! Latvia, do you KNOW what you're missing out on???? Anyway...we spent a lot of time in both the Grand Bazaar and the Spice Market. I love the feel of the market. I don't know why. There is just so much stuff, and you can pick and choose and barter. It's good. I went a little overboard and got myself some bowls at the Grand Bazaar. But I bartered a good price. Tiffany was impressed when I told her what I got for the price! Along with spices they sell a lot of teas. I fell in love with the apple tea and ended up buying two 1/2 kilo bags of tea to bring home! :)

Ah, and another delight of Turkey...the baklava! I'm sure that at some point in life I had tasted baklava before, but I don't recall that I ever thought much of it. Then I saw this type of shop! We bought a couple boxes during the week and just shared them around. Oooooeeee!!! That is some good stuff!!!

For those of you who don't know, Istanbul is a big city. Tiffany told us that it has 17 million inhabitants. It is also split by a river, the Bosphorus. On one of our last days we took the ferries across the Bosphorus and to an island off the Asian side of Istanbul. This is the view from the top of that island. Let me tell you...it was a STEEP climb up to the top. But the view made it worth it!

And here is what I think may very well be the only picture of me and Joel together taken the whole trip. Maya, the 6-year-old, took it and she did a pretty good job! :) Too bad that like usual, I am making a semi-dumb face.

And here are my spoils! These are the bowls I bought in the bazaar. I LOVE them! :) They are all handmade, hand painted and completely unique. We had a couple different guys explain to us what made these so special, because this was a very particular look/pattern/color compared to all the other ceramics, but I don't really remember the whole deal. I just know that of course, I had to love this look, which happened to be the most expensive and rare kind. We spent a long time searching for, bartering for and buying these 15 pieces. But I am so happy now! I served a curry out of one bowl tonight, and it was just so beautiful! I can't wait to have people over for dinner now! :)

So, that's it. I'm sure Joel will eventually get around to posting lots more pictures on his flickr site, and when he does I'll let you know.

For now it's back to school, back to work, and on with life. :)

30 silly questions and answers...

1. When was the last time you shaved your legs? Saturday

2. What were you doing this morning at 1am? sleeping soundly, possibly waking up Joel

3. What were you doing 15 minutes ago? helping a student write some words

4. How many people have you slept with? well, wouldn't you like to know?

5. Are you mad at anyone right now? Not that I can think of

6. Have you ever smelled moth balls? I'm not sure that I have

7. Last time you made-out? made-out? It's been a WHILE.

8. Do you know the words to the song on your myspace profile? Proud to say I do not have a myspace

9. Last thing received in the mail? A package from my mom- that was GREAT

10. Do you have any famous relatives? Nope

11. Have you ever stolen something? Yeah...I can remember stealing slap bracelets when I was in elementary school

12. Have you ever been searched by the cops? Of course not

13. How is your hair? My hair is chin length, in need of a root touch-up, and too thin

14. How many different drinks have you had today? 2 different kinds of tea and water

15. What have you eaten today? Vegemite toast, a banana and some raisins and nuts

16. Are you any good at math? Usually

17. Do you have plans on Saturday night? Not yet! Considering we have a PYP workshop during the day I'm assuming I'll be doing something relaxing.

18. Do you draw your name in the sand when you go to the beach? I have done it twice that I can think of...initials anyway. It's not something I usually do at the beach.

19. Most painful dental procedure? I had my wisdom teeth out. The procedure didn't hurt because I was totally out. Actually to tell the truth, just getting my teeth cleaned hurts like a bitch because I have receding gums! I wouldn't mind going under to have my teeth cleaned!

20. Have you ever been awake for 48 hours straight? I have come close, but it was a LOOOONG time ago.

21. Do you like the ocean? I love the ocean...but I like all those tropical seas more.

22. Do you stay friends with your ex's? Not generally

23. Something you are excited about? Going to the States in March

24. What did you do today? I've been working mostly. :)

25. Are any of your great-grandparents still alive? No, the last one died when I was in grade 5 or 6 I think.

26. Where do you keep your change? In my wallet or the bottom of my bag...sometimes in a pocket

27. Do you remember the most naughty night of your life? Umm...I guess.

28. Would you rather sleep alone or with someone else? Definitely with Joel.

29. What was the weather like on your Birthday? It was a fairly nice day, but not as warm and sunny as it could have been in June

30. What are you gonna do now? Count down the minutes until home time! :)

Old Man S

Happy Birthday Joel!

Yeah, I know he's not that old yet, but, actually, it's my place to make fun of him for being 31. :) Hence today I, along with all my students who remember, are calling him Old Man S.

It was about a year ago that all our hard party planning came to a culmination in a great 30th birthday party at Salt n' Pepper. This year we're just having a birthday dinner with the boys (nephews) and M&J (their parents). I guess at 31 there is no need for a big party anymore... but that is besides the point. My point was that last year at this time we were already pretty darn established as a couple. Amazing how time flies!

Although it's not a present from me, on Sunday we are going to Istanbul for a week. It's October break at school. It's going to be the biggest group Joel and I have traveled in...two other couples (two teachers from school and their spouses) and their three kids. Should be interesting. ;)

I guess that is it for today. I just wanted to wish Joel a very happy birthday. I can only hope that my presents and my presence made it a little bit more special! :)

I love you, boops. :)

What love will do to you...

Growing up, I was sure that my future involved being married to a Latvian-American. Maybe a Latvian-Canadian. I was pretty sure that no one else would ever be able to understand me, and what my life was about. Certainly, none of my American boyfriends had really ever been able to.

It wasn't so long ago that I was adamant that I would never date a meat-eater again. Ok, well, it must have been pretty long ago. But anyway...at one point (and I must admit that it seems forever ago, in a really unimportant past), I was sure that I would only ever be able to find true happiness sharing my life with another vegetarian.

I also remember having a conversation with my friend AW sometime more than a year, but less than 2 years ago. It involved talking about her husband's sports-watching habits and how they affected her. It wasn't so much that I cared, but I was glad that that wasn't my life. Sports were always so unimportant to me. She said to me then (don't think I've forgotten!), "Someday, I hope you meet a man who watches every sport under the sun." Or something along those lines. I of course, couldn't imagine ever falling for a guy like that. I mean really, WHAT WOULD WE HAVE IN COMMON?

But here I am now... seriously in love with a non-Latvian, meat-eating, sports fanatic.

But my point...it's not so much about eating my words (although, some people out there seem quite eager for me to do so...and don't worry... I don't mind admitting I didn't know...). Yes, I was wrong. But, at the time I made such statements, I hadn't met Joel yet. I didn't know that a non-Latvian, meat-eating, sports fanatic came in a package like this one. I didn't know that it was possible for us to have so much in common. I didn't know it was possible for us to love each other, even if we had so many things NOT in common.

Love can change you. And not in a pathetic, I'll do anything for you because I can't bear the thought of losing you way...but in the way of, if this is that important to you, then it's ok by me to do it your way, or to accept this in you...in the it's more important to me that you are happy kind of way.

Yesterday morning we rose before the sun (on a SATURDAY!!!) to get down to a hostel-bar to watch the Geelong Cats kick Port Adelaide butt. When the alarm rang at 6am, I thought, as I pressed snooze, of the one thing I would rather do than get up and go watch the Cats...mainly, stay in bed and sleep! But I got up anyway. And we went, and were a couple of the first people in the bar ready for the game. Joel was a nervous wreck. This was REALLY important to him.

Now, I don't get watching sports on tv and cheering right there....to the tv. What's the point? It's not like the team can hear you. But I have noticed that men have an almost innate need to clap, cheer and talk back to the tv. At least they all do it, and therefore do not find each other odd. Works for them. Watching Joel watch the game was fun. He was so excited. And as Geelong progressively kicked more and more ass, it was only more and more fun. It was fun to watch him clap and cheer and call out to the players by name (because yes, he knows all of them). And, at times, I even found myself ready to clap for what I saw on the screen. (Yes, I did also watch the game... AFL on tv ain't bad...)

The final score on the game was 163-44. The Cats cleaned up. It was the biggest victory in AFL grand final history (so I am told). The look on Joel's face when the game came to an end and it was official was the purest happiness I have ever seen on his face. I'm pretty sure that he was actually holding back some tears. I even thought to myself (and might have mentioned out loud) that I could only hope he would look as happy on our wedding day (which I'm also hoping will happen).

This is turning into a long story, but what gets me, and gets back to the point, is that I enjoyed that game, and the morning because Joel enjoyed it. No, if Joel hadn't been there, I wouldn't have been there. But, because Joel was there, there actually wasn't any other place I would rather be. I would have regretted sleeping in and missing seeing him be so happy.

This is what love will do to you (or me actually). It's not that I have put aside what is important to me. But it's that I have found that what is important to me now is different than what was important to me then.

Yes, I cook meat for Joel. That happened somewhere between my love of cooking, my very real desire to provide for him in this way and the realization that he just wasn't going to eat much of my sort of out there totally veggie meals. No, I don't cook him something special every night. Yes, on many nights I make a meal that I can eat, and I cook a piece of chicken on the side. It's not difficult, and I know that we will both be happy. I do foresee that there will be some friction around this subject between us when/if our offspring ever come into the picture. I say now, that I don't think I will be as willing to cook meat for them, as I am for Joel. But again, this is what I say now. We'll see what happens then (but he is forewarned).

As for the sports... he's out there watching some American football game now... I could care less, so I am in here writing and reading. I do have other things to do, and way better ways to spend my time than to sit by his side for every game he watches (please!). But, when it comes to the Cats, and the grand final, I'm there. When it comes to his basketball team, I'll be there too. Last season I figured out most of the rules, this season I'll get em down. It's not about the game, it's about being there to support him. And he doesn't mind if sometimes I bring alog a book to read. :)

The thing that makes it all ok is that today we shared the most amazing do-nothing day ever. We slept in, laid around in bed talking for an hour or so. Then he got up to watch the first half of the game again, and I read in bed. Then I made breakfast (at 2pm :) ). Then we curled up back in bed and watched 5 episodes of our favorite shows. We laughed and cuddled and relaxed. I said to him, "I like today." Then, even though he had a plan of staying inside the whole day, he took me to the grocery store because I needed fruits and vegetables for the week. Pretty soon I'll be getting in bed for the night, and as soon as I'm there, I'll need something (this happens often). I'll call out, and Joel will get off the couch and come, and he'll get me a drink of water, or plug in my phone to charge, or turn off the hallways lights, just because I don't want to get out of bed since I'm there already.

Love can make you do things that you didn't think you would. And it makes you fight for things that you always knew you would. And it helps you let go of things that aren't really important, and opens you up to things that are. Love is, as I've always said, a gift. And for this love, this particularly unpredictable package of love, I am very very grateful...even if, by appearing in my life when it did, I had to eat my words. It's a small price to pay really.

(Oh, and obviously, I might as well worry about the color of Joel's skin, if I am going to worry about whether or not he is Latvian. In a way, he's more "latvian" than lots of the Latvian-American guys I dated back in the States, just for having lived here for a few years. But THAT is a whole other story...)

Why I love this man

Just heard (Bumbi heard it!) in our living room:

Joel is watching a show called Dirty Jobs on the Discovery channel. A segment is currently showing about a bee-keeping family. They were showing how they get the honey.

Me: You don't even like honey.

Joel: Yeah, but this show rocks. It's like going on a field trip every week!

I love this man. I really do.

Contacting the Mother Ship

Yeah. Every morning, from 5-6am. This is what is going on in my bed these days. At least, it's what I assume. I'm woken up by sounds that I can't make sense of in any language I know (I don't generally speak in clicks of the tongue, snores or grinding of the teeth). So I have decided that my beloved must be indeed having some sort of very important communication with someone or something out there. I mean, why else would I keep getting woken up every morning around 5?? I try to get back to sleep. I try to silence the communication by nudging the body or literally holding the jaw of the communicator. I've even attempted early morning communication in English, but apparently, the section of the brain that understands English is switched off from 5-6am.

The thing is though... I'm not really complaining. We've made progress here. When we first started sharing a sleeping space, we struggled with adjusting to one anothers sleep needs. Me, I'm a cuddler. I'm happy and quite willing to be enveloped or enveloping the whole night through. My dear communicator, not so much. It used to be that if I touched him in the middle of the night (which I'm sorry, but I really did quite unconsciously) he would practically jump out of his skin. Needless to say, he was NOT used to me being there.

These days though, we have a bigger bed, but we're not using as much of it. Somewhere along the line, *someone* got used to another warm body...and now, must apparently REALLY like it. I sleep on the edge of the bed these days, with my boo snuggled up quite near me (mostly still in what might technically be called "my side of the bed"). But, this is pretty much a dream come true for me (no pun intended! :) ). I sleep wonderfully, knowing/feeling that other body is there, and also knowing that if we roll, and I end up throwing my arm over him, it will no longer be the end of a good night's sleep for him.

So...as I said, I'm not complaining. I guess I just wish that the communication with the mother ship (or whatever stage of sleep it is that elicits this sort of noisiness from him) didn't have to happen in that very last hour of sleep, when I look at the clock at 5 and disappointedly think, "Oh, I only have an hour left to sleep!" and then lie there desperately wishing and hoping that I could ignore the clicking, the grinding, and the snoring.

Ah well... let's hope that this need for communication with the mother ship is just a phase...and pretty soon the message will get through, and we'll return to cuddled up, uninterrupted sleep for the lot of us. That would be nice.

UPDATED LATER THAT DAY: I thought, and someone else mentioned, that this could be stress related. Yeah, ok... but if you know Joel, you know that generally, he kind of lets things roll off his back. He doesn't tend to get too stressed. It's just not his style. Well, this really has been happening like just this week. And it just hit me like a ton of bricks that the Grand Final is this weekend, and Joel has been able to think of little else besides his beloved Cats. Could it really be that the things that drives Joel to have disturbed sleep is worrying about a football game? Why is it, that I feel like I might actually have hit the nail on the head? :)

Ah....

A sigh of grateful, satisfied relief.


Between school starting, realizing that my class is made up of who it's made up of and how much that takes out of me, grad school classes starting as well, and the rainy, cold dreary weather I've been finding it pretty unattractive to get out of bed lately.

Today was our annual all school field trip to the Open Air Museum outside Riga. I have to admit that for the past two years I have dreaded this trip. I didn't know why before...I just knew that I felt it was a miserable long day without much focused academic purpose. I figured out why I felt that way today. The last two years the day of this trip was cold and mostly rainy. I remember the first year it wasn't actually raining...it was misting. But that meant that basically it was like walking in wet air...it was thick, and you couldn't protect yourself from the rain...it was everywhere. Last year it was slightly better...it rained in the morning and was really cold, and then the sun only came out for a little while just before we left.

Today, Mother Nature threw me a bone. THANK YOU!!!!

Here are some pics of what we saw today....

A beautiful, beautiful blue sky spotted with fluffy white clouds. This provided enough sunshine to actually cause the sensation of warmth! :)

Some ducks who swam to shore possibly because they thought we would feed them. No, but I did snap a photo! :)

Golden reeds blowing in the wind.

This picture doesn't really show it, but the pictures that do have kids in them, so I can't post them here...but there was this area by the lake where we walked that was SO green today. It was almost glowing. Between the ridiculous amount of heavy rain we've been getting lately (which comes down so hard it must really be like a massage for the trees and grass...if there is such a thing as a massage for nature...) and the sun being out today, I think that everything alive was shining out its inner light. :)

I have to add, that some people in Latvia like the saying, "There is no such thing as bad weather, only being inappropriately dressed." I realized today that I just DO NOT agree. I DO think there is such a thing as bad weather. If it's cold AND rainy...that is BAD weather. I don't care what I'm wearing...it's still bad weather. My cousin has invited me out to her country house this fall, and I have to say, I have NO desire. Hanging out in the country where there is nothing really good to do but BE OUTSIDE, and having it be bad weather outside... just doesn't sound good to me! Not to mention that I have tried to get warm out at country houses before when it's not exactly warm outside...and after wearing two shirt and a sweater, jeans, thick socks and I'm still chilly...then I'm sorry...but I just don't see the point, when I have the option to be in my properly heated warm city apartment. Clearly, I am not a country girl. Give it to me in the summer...I'll take it...not in the BAD weather. :)

So, thanks Mother Nature for this gift of beautiful weather on this day where it made such a difference. Even though when it was times to line up today Miss E's class lined up in a quiet paired straight line, but mine were still running around screaming like banshees and wrestling each other....even though when all the kindergarteners were supposed to be building little houses out of the materials they had collected on their nature walk, two of my boys ran away into the woods, so that I actually had to go look for them because other children were telling me they were "lost"...even though... even though all of this... it was still a wonderful day, it flew by, and it felt so much like NOT a school day, that I just about feel like I've already had one day of weekend. And God knows THAT is a good feeling. :)

So... this morning when I woke up...

I was all confused, and I couldn't decide... shall I wear a dress, or pants (trousers that is)? Well, I just couldn't decide, so I wore both!

If you know me at all, you know that this was the line I would utter in a stupid girly-bimbo-voice anytime I saw this "ridiculous" fashion walking the streets in the last 10 years or however long it's been happening. Don't know what I'm talking about? Wearing a skirt or dress over pants? Well, there's an example at this link. Very nice skirt. Very nice pants. Should they be worn together? I don't see why!

But alas... today's fashion trends are doing me in. I want new clothes, and since I live where I do (and maybe even if I lived elsewhere) I have only a limited choice of what I can buy. Mostly, I have to get stuff that follows the latest treads because they don't carry too much "classic" fashion round these parts.

The worst thing is that most of today's fashion trends involve waistlines that make size 0 girls look pregnant (never mind me, who regularly gets asked when I'm expecting even when I'm NOT wearing these fashions) and shirt hem lines that reach mid-thigh, so when you're in the store, you're thinking to yourself, "But is it a shirt or a dress??? HUH???? Which is IT???" And let me tell you, I know I'm only a kindergarten teacher, but generally, I pride myself on being able to tell the difference. So not only are today's fashions confusing, but, they aren't exactly made for every body (I guess hottest trends never have been). So it seems I am losing the battle at not wearing things I generally don't think I look good in, simply because I want to wear something new!

I fear that at my ripe old age (what? Sarcasm....) of 27 I am actually already looking down on current fashion, and thinking back on the "good old days" when we used to wear clothes that I find more comfortable and flattering. Could it be??? Am I already that old (meaning, not hip and cool anymore)? That out of touch with what's hot? Is it just that as I do age, I couldn't give a rats about what's on the runways, or what today's hottest stars are wearing, and do just want to be comfortable? Jesus... I have no hope once I have a baby, huh? Am I already one of those people whose clothes date me, because I obviously didn't buy most of what I wear THIS decade?

Well, whatever it is (and I do feel it must be SOMETHING)... I can no longer make fun of people who wear dresses over pants because this morning I actually got up, and I couldn't decide what to wear...and so I wore both. Yes it's true...as I write, I am wearing jeans and a black baby doll dress all at the same time. Or wait... maybe I'm not... who knows! This could just be a long shirt I have on... :)